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VI
~A Commander Keen
Website~
Mortimer's Mayhem
Introduction
A reasonably short time ago,
in a galaxy that is actually our own, a race of
aliens known as the Shikadi were contacted by the nine year old terrorist,
Mortimer McMire.
Mortimer told the Shikadi that if they helped eliminate the inferior
Milky Way galaxy, then they could help recreate it and get really high
government positions. The plot was foiled by eight year old kid genius,
Billy Blaze.
The Shikadi were put behind
bars, and Mortimer seemed to disappear, leaving behind a letter written
in a strange language. Upon deciphering the letter, Billy learned
that Mortimer was planning on destroying the universe.
Billy ran to his fancy computer
system that was placed in his clubhouse. Using unbelievably high-tech
machinery he scanned all of outer space in a mere five seconds. Mortimer
had on a cloaking device. Half a minute later, Billy had locked onto
Mortimer’s heat
signature, and found that Mortimer was flying to the galaxy of Croncho.
That was too easy. Mortimer must have had another plan, but what?
Meanwhile, Mortimer chuckled
to himself as he flew toward Croncho at faster than light speed.
He contacted the Shikadi on his cordless phone.
“Yes, Lord Gannalech?”came
the answer from the other side of the universe.
“Is everyone out?”asked
Mortimer.
“Yes,” replied the dark
voice.”However, the police have thebuilding surrounded. Requesting
permission to use The Phaser.
“Permission granted,”said
Mortimer.”Once you have escpaped, report to Croncho emmediately.
“Right. Phaser beam
armed.”There was a pause, then he continued rather loudly.”FIRE!!!”
The whole planet of Korath
III shook. All of the inhabitants heard a whistle
that went across the planet and came right back. Then there was
nothing but silence.
Chapter One: Elimination Of All
So this was the distraction
Mortimer had thrown together. What could have done
this? Commander Keen was surveying the wreckage that surrounded
him. Every single
structure on Korath III had one thing in common: they had fallen.
Nothing he knew of could
have caused this. A bomb couldn’t do this much,
and it couldn’t neatly knock down the buildings on their sides.
It wasn’t the prettiest sight.
All of Korath III’s life weren’t in one piece. They were just
smeared all over the place. What could have done this?
Commander Keen’s wristwatch
scanned the area for life. Nothing within
ten miles.
Upon walking into the city,
Commander Keen learned that the buildings had been
neatly knocked down. It was like an elaborate domino rally.
Something else caught his
eye. A thick cloud of smoke by the prison. He couldn’t tell
exactly what it was, but he was pretty sure it was from a spacecraft of
some sort taking off.
He walked back to his Bean
With Bacon Megarocket. He was too late. He had
failed his mission. He had failed before he had even started.
What if Mortimer did that again? He could destroy Earth. The
galaxy. The- The universe.
He rocketted back to Earth.
There was no time to spare. He had to intelligently utilize every
second he could. Or was he overestimating Mortimer? Did he
really have all
this in mind? Then Commander Keen remembered what he had told
himself. No guesses. No chances. Just try everything.
He watched out his window.
He watched as the fabric of both time and space ripped apart before him
as he streaked through the universe faster than light. It was an
amazing
effect.
“This is how the universe
will end,” thought Commander Keen.”Just like this. Only more extreme.
And this time it wouldn’t happen to one person. It would happen to
everyone. It would be so extreme that space and time would just rip
in two, taking everyone with it. Space and time would seperate.
Then what would happen? I don’t know.”
He stopped thinking this.
Mortimer wouldn’t have the ability to do this. He is using his new weapon.
Isn’t he? A bomb can’t take out the universe. No matter how
big it is.
His ship landed in his backyard.
He rushed out to his clubhouse. Before he left to Croncho, he would
have to contact someone to protect Earth from Mortimer’s new weapon.
To be alert. Then he knew just who.
Chapter Two: Mortimer and the Shikadi
“It works astoundingly well,
Lord Mortimer,” said the Shikadi Leader into the cordless phone.
Its voice was hollow. It had no heart. No soul. Pure
evil.
“Excellent,”said Mortimer.”What
planet should we claim next?”
“There is a slight problem,
though, Sir,”spoke the Shikadi.
“And what might that be?”
“Mr. Blaze. He has
spent less time than we thought he would on Korath III. He has left
a top CIA operative guarding the planet.”
“CIA operative? Is
that all? Perhaps I have overestimated this boy.”
“Snake Logan, Sir.”
“Oh.”Mortimer cursed under
his breath.”You can take care of him, right?”
“He destroyed Master Cain
about six years ago, I think we should wait a while before continuing use
with the phaser. I believe our best course of action would be to
arm the
bomb.”
“Then do so. I’m docking
with the Master Bomb’s Main Ship now. I’ll be lossing the signal
for this phone.”
The signal was lost, the
Shikadi rocketted toward Croncho, and Mortimer walked
toward the Master Bomb with a piece of paper containing the 92 digits
involved in arming and disarming the bomb.
Chapter Three: The Defusion
Commander Keen found himself
once again bending the fabric of time and space
until it no longer existed. He rocketted through space in his
Bean With Bacon Megarocket faster than light. He thought about this.
He was breaking every single law of physics known to man. Defying
gravity, defying time, defying relative distances.
He had learned of this amazing
power from the Shikadi, who were the most intelligent creatures in the
Universe. Being energy beings, they were both invincible and unbelievably
intelligent. Their energy provided them with infinte amounts
of intelligence and, since they were actually inname objects, they lived
their whole life subconciously. They were made of energy, not real
life.
All objects have thoughts,
but they are subconcious.
Commander Keen shook his
head. He was thinking too hard. He had to stay on task.
He saw an amazingly large cluster of stars ahead of him. A galaxy.
Chronco. The cluster
of stars was extremely large, and when you can see it appear from nowhere,
from a tiny dot of light, do a complex jumble of tiny lights, then expanding
into a cluster of stars light years across, with no humanly accesible end,
you have truly lived life to its fullest extent.
His mind was drifting again,
but he had nothing better to do while flying
through space.
Another amazing thing happened.
He flew straight into this cluster of stars.
It was beautiful. It was as if a field of yellow stars stretched
out before him, and the field was
dotted with red stars. This was an amazing galaxy. It would
NOT be the base of Mortimer’s evil plans for long.
He flew through a nebula,
and the gases flew swirling around him.
He got back on task and
scanned the galaxy for any abnormaly large clusters of
metal- which would be Mortimer’s Master Bomb. He picked one up
and locked the
computer’s coordinates on it.
Five minutes later Commander
Keen was running down the corridors of Mortimer’s ship. The ticking
was driving him mad. Mortimer had amplified the ticking of the Master
Bomb through every possible object he could. It echoed through the
corridors and off metal
objects, as if every single thing on the ship was attempting to haunt
him.
He spot the Master Bomb.
It was unguarded. It was the size of a house. It had a 92 digit
combination. He would have to hack into it. He ran as fast
as he could. He heard the ticking. He saw the numbers.
Was he too late?
5. . . 4. . . 3. . .
He got to the Bomb.
It wasn’t the end. He had time. He jammed the cord of his laptop
into the Master Bomb. He didn’t care where. He broke through
the steel with unearthly strength. The screen of his laptop buzzed
to life. It fed him millions of numbers in a fraction of a second.
The eerie light of the laptop reflected off his face.
2. . . 1. . .
The computer wanted his input.
He gave it his input. He typed in dozens of numbers, symbols, and
letters. He hit the enter key. He had hacked in and saved the
galaxy.
He looked at the clock on
the Master Bomb.
0
. 0. He hadn’t
done it. The bomb was a dud.
Mortimer walked out from
the other side of the bomb.
“We meet again, knucklehead,”he
said, bringing back the memories of last year’s school days.
“We sure do,”said Keen.”For
the last time. I’ve been waiting to confront you again. Now
is the time. A final showdown.”
“I’m afraid not, Commander
Clown,”said Mortimer.”I’m the smartest being in the galaxy. You don’t
think I’m stupid enough to just walk up to you and say ‘hi’ without having
a plan do you?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so.
This, too, was a big distraction. Don’t you get it? The true
bomb is well out of your reach. It’s not even in this universe.
I am blowing up the entire dimension. After that I will move on to
other dimensions until all is destroyed.”
“There are infinite dimensions.
You can’t destroy them all.”
“Can’t I?”
Then Mortimer flickered
away. He was a hologram.
The Universe was safe- this
time.
Epilogue
Humans miss the obvious.
It is our flaw. Commander Keen had been missing something his whole
life. He now realized it. He was looking down upon the entire
universe. Billions upon billions of stars, black holes, quasers, galaxies,
and other things not even known of were spread out below him.
Wars were fought, people
died, and friendships were broken. Things were a terrible mess.
But looking down from up here, it was impossible to think that there wasn’t
any hope left. And when the universe is spread out before you and
you can’t think something, you can
be sure it isn’t true.
He dove down. Into
his galaxy. Into his solar system. Into his planet’s atmosphere.
He landed his ship and went to bed. It had been a long day.
He had now surely seen all there was to see.
While lying in bed, he thought.
Could Mortimer really destroy all dimensions? How could Mortimer make a
bomb capable of destroying a dimension?
How could Mortimer make
a bomb capable of destroying a dimension? Time has been around for
all eternity. That’s only logical. It would take Mortimer all
eternity to destroy something of infinite size, which would be the dimension.
Mortimer would have to be immortal to destroy the dimnension. He
would have had to be around all eternity. But eternity and infinity
don’t cancel each other out. So. . .
Not even Commander Keen
could comprehend any farther. If Mortimer was serious,
then Young Billy Blaze would have no chance of stopping something which
he can’t even think.
The Universe is toast.
Special Thanks to:
Dopefish9 for the compliments. Someone complimented my writing
other than my
parents and teachers.
Arthur for starting the Keen Community (I think). I never met
him, but
I’m thanking him anyways.
Tom Hall and John Romero are the cool people that put together most
of Commander
Keen.
Id Software. Just Kidding! Why the heck should I thank them?
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