Vorticon VI 

                                       Commander Keen's Life 
                   Ch.1-  My First Few Moments 
 

     You may think that this is strange. To most people it is. I don't know where I 
got my intelligence. Certainly not from my parents. They're both as stupid as 
turtles. They're as stupid as DEAD turtles. 

One day, I came out of my mom's va- 
CENSORING CENSORING CENSORING CENSORING 
Fine then, Mr. Annoying Censorer, I was BORN. The doctor started slapping me. I 
assumed this was to make me breathe.  
     "Just why are you hitting me?" I asked, "I'm breathing quite fine, thank you." My mom stared at me. My dad stared at me.The doctor stared at me. Vast as my intelligence was, I didn't get why they were staring at me. "Why are you staring at me?" I looked down to examine myself. "Oh, I see. I'm nak-" 
CENSORING CENSORING CENSORING CENSORING 
Would you SHUT UP? As I was saying, I had no clothes on. One of the nurses 
stared at me and moved her mouth kind of like a fish does. She ran out to get me 
a diaper. What nice clothes. "Umm, a shirt, underpants, and some pants might be 
a little better," I said. "Do you think I don't know how to use a toilet?" The 
nurse nodded vigorously. Another one ran to get me some clothes. The doctor 
cleared his throat. "Yes?" I asked. I looked at him. He was moving his mouth like a fish does, too. "Never mind. Don't bother answering."  
     "Well, son," stuttered 
my dad, "Welcome to the world." He extended a hand for a handshake. What 
primitive behavior! How unsanitary. I pushed it away. The next day we went home. 
 
  

To Be Continued In... My First Day at Home