Game Descriptions & Downloads

This page is designed for people who don't know that much about Commander Keen. I shall describe each episode, so that you may learn more about it. There is also a download available for the games that are legal for me to distribute. If you don't want major parts of the plot given away to you, I suggest not reading the texts on this page and just finding the downloads and downloading.

Ouch! Commander Keen Episode One The first trilogy is "Invasion Of The Vorticons."
The first episode is "Marooned On Mars." In Marooned On Mars, you will
learn that Billy Blaze, eight year old kid genius, has been working
diligently in his backyard clubhouse, and has built an interstellar
starship from old soup cans, rubber cement, and plastic tubing. While
his folks are out on the town and the babysitter has fallen asleep,
Billy travels into his backyard workshop, dons his brother's football
helmet, and transforms into. . . Commander Keen, defender of the
Universe! In his Bean-with-Bacon Megarocket, he dispenses justice
with an iron hand! In this episode, Commander Keen is exploring the
mountains of Mars, and when he returns to his ship, he finds that four
parts are missing. Your mission is to retrieve the parts from the
Martians' twisted claws. At the end of the game, you fly home only to
discover that there is an alien ship hovering above Earth, ready to
destroy it with it's demonic X-14 Tantalus Rays.

Ouch! Commander Keen Episode Two By Episode Two, you know that one of the enemies in Episode One was a Vorticon, an evil alien race from the planet Vorticon VI. Episode Two is called "The Earth Explodes." The graphics, sound, and gameplay quality are the same as Episode One. I don't like it as much. It takes place on the Vortcon Mothership, where you have to disable the eight X-14 Tantalus Rays before they destroy the Earth. In the end, the Vorticons fail their mission, and the ship limps back to Vorticon VI.

Ouch! Commander Keen Episode Three By Episode Three, you know that the head of the Vorticons is the Grand Intellect, but he isn't from Vorticon VI. He is from Earth. Episode Three is called "Keen Must Die!". In this episode, you fly to Vorticon VI. You're mission is to kill the Grand Intellect. What fun! I won't tell you the Grand Intellect's true identity, because then I'd spoil the game. In the end you do kill him. You also learn that the Vorticon's were mentally enslaved by the Grand Intellect, and are actually a good alien race. Episode Three has the same graphics, gameplay, and sound quality as the first two games. I like it more than Episode Two, but less than Episode One.

Ouch! Commander Keen Episode 3.5 "Keen Dreams"is Episode 3.5. It is a couple of technological
steps above "Invasion of The Vorticons" in sound, gameplay, and graphic
quality. While those things are higher in quality than the last three
games, the fun quality is worse. For some strange reason, this game
isn't as fun as the other games. It is the worse Keen game, I think.
Unlike the last three games, you can save in the middle of levels,
not just on the map. It has three difficulty settings, unlike the
first trilogy, and it takes place in one of Billy's dreams. Plus, you
don't die, you fall asleep(?). You don't kill your enemies either,
you temperarily turn them into flowers(?!). And the boss of the game
is a giant potato(?!?). If you like strange games, then you might
want to check this out.

Ouch! Commander Keen Episode Four The second Commander Keen Series is "Goodbye Galaxy." The
first episode of that series is "Secret Of The Oracle." In this game,
Commander Keen learns that the Shikadi are planning on blowing up the
galaxy. But you don't know much about the Shikadi, so you must travel
to the Shadowlands to rescue members of the high council. It's that
simple. The game's pretty simple too. Even on hard mode it is pretty
simple. In this game you have three levels of difficulty, like "Keen
Dreams." It is a technological step above "Invasion Of The Vorticons"
in graphics, sound, music, and gameplay, but it is a technological
step down from "Keen Dreams"in graphics, and a technological step up
from "Keen Dreams" in gameplay and sound. "Secret Of The Oracle" has
music, unless like the last four Commander Keen games. It's gameplay
is also better than "Keen Dreams" because it's not as slow. You can
save in the middle of levels in this game too. At the end of the game,
the members of the high council activate the Oracle, and Keen learns
where the Shikadi's mothership(the Omegamatic)is. It should be noted
that someone calling themself "The Geoligist,"claims that Commander
Keen actually went to The Shadowlands to collect rock samples of
Mimrocks. He also claims that the Shikadi trying to blow up the
galaxy came up just as Keen was planning on leaving, so he used that
as cover-up. But nobody likes the geologist anyway and no one believes him.

Ouch! Commander Keen Episode Five This fifth episode in the Commander Keen Saga is "The Armageddon Machine." This Episode finds Keen in stealth mode, sneaking his Bean-With-Bacon Megarocket up to the Omegamatic. Securing his Attach-O-Ray to an exhaust port, Keen enters the Omegamatic and begins his most dangerous adventure yet! The technology and fun is all the same as Keen4. At the end is a paper to decipher, if you've learned the Standard Galactic Alphabet. There is also a football helmet with some initials on it. . . Look familiar? Oh yeah, you also save the galaxy in the end.

Ouch! Commander Keen Episode Six Commander Keen6 is "Aliens Ate My Babysitter." It isn't part
of the "Goodbye Galaxy"series, but there aren't any technological
improvements. It's just as fun too. It looks like Id Software hit
the jackpot when they made that Keen engine. In this episode, aliens
are having your babysitter over for dinner(they're going to eat her).
You must fly to Fribbulus Xax, where the Bloogs live. In the end you
rescue your babysitter, and she tells you about -------- ------'s
latest plan. But isn't he dead? You should've deciphered that message
in Keen5.

Ouch! Bio Menace Episode One There is only one Bio Menace Trilogy, and it's just called
"Bio Menace. Episode One is called "Dr. Mangle's Lab." In this game
you control Snake Logan, an operative for the CIA. A town called
Metro has been taken over by genetically enlarged insects. The
insects have also become violent. While flying over Metro, you were
shot down. Now you must find your way to Dr. Mangle, who is the one
responsible for this. There are dozens of dead bodies. Out of the
whole town, only about 10 people survived. This game uses a modified
Commander Keen(4-6)engine. The graphics in Bio Menace are better than
Keen6. The gameplay, music, and sound are the same. There is no map
level in Bio Menace, and if you save in the middle of a level, when
you load your game you will be back at the beginning of the level.
In the end you kill Dr. Mangle, but before he dies he says that someone
named Master Cain made him do it. Then on TVs all across America
people see Master Cain saying that if the world isn't turned over to
him in 48 hours, he will unleash his mutant insects.

Ouch! Bio Menace Episode Two In Episode Two,"The Hidden Lab," someone finds a bunch of very large footprints. Snake follows them, and finds a hidden lab. He just goes through, making a scene, shooting everyone and everything. Unlike Commander Keen, Bio Menace involves a good deal of blood and guts. Near the end, Snake finds a room full of evil creatures that a robot named Enforcer is planning on unleashing upon the world. So you kill Enforcer, and plant a bomb in the building. If you didn't plant a bomb then you get an alternate ending where the mutants kill you, and no one can find your body. I wonder what the mutants had for dinner. . .

Ouch! Bio Menace Episode Three In Episode Three,"Master Cain,"you find the coordinates for another hidden lab. The coordinates were on a chip in the Enforcer's head. Episode Three is hard, and is even harder on hard mode(Bio Menace has three levels of difficulty, too). If you make it, you can kill Master Cain. Master Cain can turn into an invincible demon, too, so it can be annoying. Once he falls to the ground, all bloody and burning, you hear muffled sounds from underneath the mask. And when the mask is removed, you discover his true identity. Then he commits suicide, nearly taking you with him. The world is then saved. Thanks to you.

Ouch! The Ultimate Doom for Windows 95 Bah! I just got this game yesterday. All I know is it has a stupid name and is most likely on Satan's Top Ten Games of All Time.

Ouch!

Bill Gates Game

This is a pretty lame game that lets you throw pies at Bill Gates head. It is a good game to play i you are bored.

Ouch!

A Bee Game

This is also a lame game. You shoot toxic stuff a bees. Wheeeeeeeee!

I hope that you now know more about Commander Keen. I also hope to be able to add more to this page soon.


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