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Forge315
Grunt
Posts: 10
(5/19/01 1:27 am)
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New fanfiction
Hello everybody!
We have a new fan fiction. The story was written by old time Keen fan Neil; and Neil very generously let me name it, thanks Neil!
Well here it is:
(should the "A" in the title be exempt?)
"A Delirious End To The Beginning"
Eight year-old Billy Blaze was in his room doing his homework. Suddenly, he heard a bunch of voices calling his name. Once they started, they wouldn't stop calling his name and they just kept on doing it over and over. Billy had no idea where the voices were coming from. He got nervous. After a few more minutes of Billy's voice being called by the strange voices, Billy nervously shouted "hello." As soon as he shouted that, he found himself in a strange forest. It was dark and raining. His Bean-With-Bacon Megarocket was right beside him. 'I must be on another planet,' thought Billy. Billy decided to wander off and explore.
After about five minutes of Exploring, Billy heard a small yelp. He looked and saw a small green creature on the opposite side of the tree he was standing beside. The creature was only about the same size as Bily's foot. The creature saw Billy, looked frightened, then ran off into the distance. Billy continued exploring and went off in a different direction. He soon came to the deepest revene he had ever saw. There was a shakey bridge across the revene. Billy nervously started to walk across the bridge. When he got halfway across, the bridge broke and Billy found himself falling down into the revene.
Billy made a safe and soft landing atleast 1000 feet below ground. "Wow, I didn't hurt myself," Billy said to himself. Just then he found himself sitting on a big rock surrounded by quick sand. "Oh no, oh crud," Billy said to himself, "What am I going to do?" Billy took the long heavy rope that fell from holding the shakey bridge, did an Indy-cast with it so it would tie itself to a small stick sticking out of the ground on the other side of the quick sand, tied the other end to the rock he was on, and made a rope-bridge across the quick sand. Billy went across the rope-bridge. Once he got across, he then found himself outside a big dark cave. Billy entered the cave.
The cave was dark and scary. As soon as Billy wandered into the cave, he started to hear this loud howling noise. The further he went into the cave, the louder the noise got. Billy stopped moving and froze solid. "I'm scared," Billy said nervously. "Wait a minute," Billy shouted out so the whole cave could here him, "I'm not scared, I'm Commander Keen defender if all the uiniverse." Billy transformed into Commander Keen then continued further into the cave. Soon he came to a fork, either he could go right or left. He didn't know which way the noise was coming from so he just went left. The further he went left, the louder the noise got. Soon enough, Keen came to a circled area in the cave with a bunch of passages going off in different directions. "Hmmmmmmmm, which way?" thought Keen. Keen randomly picked a passage and went off following it. As soon as he entered the passge, it went around the corner to the left then it dead-ended at a big hole in the ground. Keen heard the noise coming from down in the hole. Keen didn't know whether or not to enter the hole. Suddenly, Billy slipped and fell into the hole. Keen then went falling 5000 feet down to the bottom of the hole where he found himself in the darkest, scariest, gloomiest, and dirtiest cave he had ever been in. The noise was now way louder than before. Keen walked through the cave to where he thought the noise was coming from. A few short minutes later, the cave came to an end at a great big door. Keen could hear the noise howling on the other side of the door. Keen tried opening the door, it was locked. Keen knocked on the door, no one answered and the noise kept howling. Just then Keen noticed a sign on the cave-wall beside the door. The sign said "TO UNLOCK DOOR, MOVE THIS SIGN." Keen tried taking the sign off the wall, it easily came off and there was a small hole hidden behind it. A small gold key was in the hole. Keen took the key and tried unlocking the door with it. It easily came unlocked. Keen opened the door. As soon as the door opened, the howling noise stopped and all was quiet. Keen went through the door. On the other side, he found himself in a room with brick walls. There was a big fireplace against the back wall with a nice warm fire in it. There was a big picture of a yorp hanging on the wall above the fireplace. There was a big rug on the floor infront of the fireplace with a big coffee table behind it with a nice comfy arm-chair behind that (you could sit in the arm-chair infront of the fire). There was a plate of cookies on the coffee table with a piture of milk beside it. There were two tall plants, one in each front corner. Keen got his raygun ready to shoot whatever was making the howling noise. Now, do you want to know what was making that noise? The noise was coming from in that room. Should I say or should I let one of you guys pick what was making that noise? Okay, it was...Roger Wilco. Roger Wilco was standing in the room. As soon as Keen saw him, he immediately put his gun down.
"I have come to rescue you from this planet and take you back to Earth," Roger said to Keen. Roger had gotten some kind of signal through his ship that Keen had been transported to that planet by the spell of an evil witch. "Good thing you weren't in that cave too long," said Roger, "That witch lives in there." Keen and Roger left the planet in Roger's ship (Now what's the name of Roger's ship again, I forget because I haven't played Space Quest in such a long time) and headed back towards Earth.
"Now don't forget," said Roger, "The planet we just left is in a universe that is quite far away from the universe we live in. Who knows how long it will take us to go between the two universes? Who knows how long it will be before we're out of this universe?" "What was that planet called anyway?" asked Keen. "The one we just left, Planet *-*-* ," said Roger. "And is this universe called *-*-* ?" asked Keen. "I don't know what this universe is called," said Roger. A short while later, the ship made a weird banging noise. "Let's crash-land on that small yellow and blue planet right there," said Keen pointing at the planet he saw nearby. "Eyes," said Roger. Roger crash-landed the ship on the small yellow and blue planet. As soon as Roger and Keen got out of the ship, they saw a big sign right beside the ship that said "WELCOME TO PLANET GHERLE." There were two paths to going away from the area, one goign each way away from the sign. "Which way should we go in search of help?" asked Roger. "I don't know," said Keen, "Why don't we each go one way?" "Good idea," said Roger, "We'll meet back here in a half hour." Roger took one path and Keen took the other. A few short minutes later, the path that Keen was on went into a very hot desert. Keen followed the path into the desert. After about ten minutes of following the path in the desert, Keen came to an oasis with a big rock beside it. Keen was very thirsty so he took a drink from the oasis. As soon as he was refreshed, he heard a voice off in the distance say, "Yo come here ee." Half a minute later, the voice said again, "Yo come here ee." This time the voice sounded a little closer. "Yo come here ee," said the voice. This time it came from right behind the big rock. Keen nervously went around to the other side of the rock. There was a wizard standing there. "Uh, I come in peace," Keen nervously said to the wizard. " I see, " said the wizard. "Well, do you know where I am or if there's a place around here I can get stuff to repair a shipor get a ride back to Earth?" asked Keen. "Ha, before I tell you that there'e this evil witch you got to defeat," said the wizard. "Where am I and who are you?" asked Keen. "You are in the XXX desert," said the wizard, "I am Robert Masdi but you can call me Rob or even Rod. The witch you have to defeat is Queen Hafki. I know who you are and where you just came from, you are Commander Keen from planet Earth and you just came here from planet *-*-* . Old Rager Wilco or whatever his name is was mistaken, Hafki lives in a tower. The tower is back on planet *-*-* . Rager was sort of right about something, you access Hafki's tower from inside the caves you met Rager in." "But if she's on *-*-* you need to tell me where I can find a ship first so I can go there," said Keen, "You basically need to tell me where I can get a ship before I defeat Hafki and not after." "Nonsense, use The Portal of Lebgi," said the wizard, "It's much more quicker than time-wasting ships." "Where can I find this Portal of Lebgi?" asked Keen. "Right here," said Rod (Rod is the wizard) turning the big rock into a portal with a magic spell. "But before I go there I have to meet Roger back at where we crash-landed," said Keen, "I told him I'd meet him back there a half hour after we separated." "Don't worry, my lad, I'll take care of it for you," said Rod, "Now, follow me through the portal to Hafki's tower then we'll take care of that old nasty gradnma." Rod went through the portal then Keen went through after him. Keen then found himself back in the room where he met Roger Wilco. He came out of the portal right where the fireplace was. Basically, the portal Keen came out of was there instead of the fireplace and the picture of the yorp was above the portal. Rod wasn't there. "This isn't Hafki's tower," said Keen, "Why am I back here?" "HA! HA! HA!," said a strange voice. "Rod, where are you?" shouted Keen. Just as Keen was about to run back through the portal and look for Rod, the portal turned back into a fireplace. "Well, there's only one other way out," said Keen. Keen ran over to the door that went out into the cave and tried to open it, but it was locked this time. "Why am I locked in this room all by myself?" Keen asked himself. Keen thought he'd better start looking around the room. He looked under the rug infront of the fireplace and found a small gold key hidden under it. It looked just like the gold key Keen used to unlock the door with earlier. Keen tried unlocking the door with it. Luckily, it worked. Keen opened the door then stepped out into the cave. Keen went down the cave back to the hole he fell through. 'Now, how am I going to get back up there?' Keen thought to himself as he looked up into the hole. Keen then continued down the cave going the opposite way than the way he went to get to where he met Roger. Halkf a minute after the hole, the cave dead-ended where there was a mirror on the wall. "Billy Blaze, there is something for you in that room you just left," said a voice in the mirror. Keen ran back down the cave to the door then went through the door into the room. There was now a tall ladder going up above the ceiling where the fireplace was and the fireplace wasn't there. Keen started to climb the ladder. Just as Keen was getting off the ground and starting to climb the ladder, the two plants in the front corners of the room came alive. "Get him," said one of the plants pointing at Keen. The two plants slowly started walking towards the ladder. It was too late when the plants got over to the ladder, Keen was already above the ceiling. "Sh*t, us plants aren't capable of climbing ladders," the one plant said to the other.
After a long time of boring climbing, Keen finaly got to the top of the ladder. He found himself in a part of the cave he had never been in before. 'Now which way?' thought Keen. Keen decided to go one way and soon found himself back in the circled area of passages. He had come out of a passage he never went into yet. 'Now, which way is Hafki's tower?' thought Keen. Keen decided to go down one passage he never entered yet. A few minutes after following that cave passage around many corners, he came to a metal man (a man made out of gray metal). "Excusme, can you please tell me how to get to the XXX desert?" the man asked Keen. "Only if you can tell me where Hafki's tower is," said Keen. "Okay," said the man. "To get to the XXX desert," started Keen, "If you have a ship, start by taking it to planet Gherle then follow the path going left to the XXX desert." The man told Keen which passage to go down at the circle of passages to get to Hafki's tower. Keen continued following the passage he was in at this time and the metal man went the way Keen came from back towards the circle of passages. After going around a bunch more corners, Keen found a hammer on the ground. He picked it up and decided to caryy it with him. After that he came out of yet another passage back at the circle of passages. He then started to follow the passage the metal man told him to follow to get to Hafki's tower. Soon enough, the passage ended at a flight of stairs going up. Keen went up the flight of stairs. At the top was a Portal of Lebgi and another flight of stairs going up. Keen went up the second flight of stairs. At the top of this flight was a huge door. Keen knocked on the door, no one answered. Keen opened the door which was unlocked then went through it. He found himself in the top of a tall tower. In the tower was a window (a window in the wall looking outside), a bed, a huge oak chest, and of course Hafki the witch. "Well welcome," said Hafki, "I see you are Billy Blaze who has risked coming here in a long journey to defeat me." "No, you transported me here with your magic," siad Keen. "Atfirst I planned to transport you to this planet then to my tower then I planned to kill YOU," said Hafki, "but my transporting spell didn't quite make it as far as my tower. My wand ran out of magic at the time so you're lucky you only got as far as entering the planet. I see now you have made it here to my tower, so I guess that means now I can kill you as soon as my boyfriend brings me more magic." By the way incase you didn't know, Hafki was Mortimer McMire's x-girfriend. 'But, who's her boyfriend now?' Keen thought to himself. "I'm home, baby," said a man's voice that came from the bottom of the second flight of stairs. Keen heard the sound of someone's feet coming up the second flight of stairs. Rod, the wizard, entered the room with a boquet of flowers. "Oh Masdi, you didn't have to sweety," Hafki said as Rod gave her the boquet of flowers. "I also brought you more magic, my little baby," Rod said to Hafki. "By the way, this wizard here is my current boyfriend," Hafki said to Keen. "So Rod, why didn't you make it through the portal?" asked Keen. "I made it through perfectly, I came out of the portal right at the bottom of these stairs then came right up them to this tower," said Rod, "You're the one who didn't make it. HA! HA! HA! You only came out of Wesbi's Magic Fireplace." The two plants from below entered the room. They had somehow got ahold of the rope Keen used to make the rope-bridge over the quick sand and used it to climb up the hole Keen fell down then they went up the two flights of stairs to Hafki's tower. "Oh and Keen, these are my two assistants," Hafki said to Keen as she pointed at the plants, "Their names are Memus and Vemus." Vemus was the one who did all the talking early, Memus didn't say anything yet in this story. "Assistants, kill Keen," said Hafki. "Okay, Memus, let's party," said Vemus as the two plants started to walk towards Keen. Rod and Hafki were blocking the door out of the tower that went to the stairs. Keen ran over to the window and decided to take his last look out the window before he dies. He could see the whole forest from up in the tower. He could see his Bean-With-Bacon Megarocket and where he was when he firsted got to the planet *-*-* , he could see the revene where the shakey bridge use to be, he could even see a small creek along the bottom of Hafki's tower then it went off into the forest. Just then Keen noticed Hafki's wand laying on the oak chest right beside the window. Keen took the wand and turned the plants into two rocks (each plant turned into one rock) then he quickly through the two rocks out the window and they landed in the creek. Just as Keen was about to kill Hafki with the wand, Hafki ran over there and grabbed the wand from Keen then she yelled at Keen, "What do you think you're doing with that?" As she said that, she accidently turned Keen into one of those green foot-size creatures with the wand. I'm talking about the green creature at the beginning of the story when Keen first entered planet *-*-* then it saw Keen and ran off frightened, Hafki turned Keen into one of those creautrs. Beofre Hafki could do anything else with her wand, Keen (as the creature) quickly and nervously jumped out the window. Keen went falling down the outside of the tower and landed safely and softly on the ground beside the creek. "Wow, these creatures can sure jump high and land quite softly without getting hurt," Keen said to himself. Luckily, Keen was on the opposite side of the creek of the side that Hafki's tower was on.
The two rocks (the ones that were originally the plants) washed up onto the land (on the side of the creek Keen was on) beside the creek. Keen put the two rocks in his inventory with the hammer and his raygun. Keen decided to wander off into the forest. A few minutes later Keen said to himself, "These creatures may have advantages in jumping and landing but they sure move/walk slower than humans." A while later, Keen came to an open space in the forest with a big spaceship. The metal man that Keen saw earlier and told how to get to the XXX desert was there walking towards the ship. The man turned and saw Keen thinking he was the other green foot-size creature who got frightened and ran away from Keen earlier. "Ooh that damn creature," the metal man said running towards Keen with a big metal club, "This creature bothers me everyday and he easily gets in my way. I will now get him finaly." Keen ran and hid under a small bush near by. "Oh no, I can't reach underneath that bush with this big club," said the metal man. The man turned around and got into the ship then the ship took off and headed towards planet Gherle. Once the ship was completely out of site and could no longer be heard, Keen decided to head back towards the creek where he picked up the two rocks. When he got half way there, he ran into the other green foot-size creature (the one who was frightened and ran away from Keen earlier). "Wow I don't believe it, there is another one of my kind out there and I finaly found it," said the creature. "Wow, I can understand this little creature now that I'm one of his knd," said Keen. "Okay, I'm just joking about that," said the creature, "I know who you are and where you come from. You are Majgeti, king of this planet. This evil witch named Hafki came here from planet Gherle and turned you into one of my kind so she could become queen of this planet in your place." "Acutally, that's not true," said Keen, "I am Billy Blaze AKA Commande rKeen and I come from planet Earth. I am not king of this planet. Hafki, the witch, transported me here with a magic..." "Also, there are two enemies on this planet that I fear," interupted the creature, "Number one is this metal man who threatens me with this big metal club almost everyday. Number two is this weird looking alien who I ran into this morning and I was frightened of him so I ran off. Number two even had a raygun." Keen then said, "Number two was probably me and..." "Follow me," interupted the creature, "I'll take you to a special place that only I can go to." Keen followed the creature a little ways to a tree with a small hole in the bottom of it. Keen followed the creature through the hole. They found themselves in a small room inside the tree. In the room was a bed, a small fireplace, a table with two chairs, and a bear-rug. "Welcome, this is where I live," the creature said to Keen. Keen said, "Now, please let me try to tell you that I am not the king and..." "Look under the bear-rug for a special present to you from me," interupted the creature. Keen looked under the bear-rug and found a small silver key. "That is the key to the oak chest of your's that Hafki stole," said the creature. "How did you get the key?" asked Keen. "Incase you don't know, the chest is in Hafki's tower," said the creature. Keen put the key in his inventory then he looked and saw something glowing in the fireplace. "What is that thing glowing in the fireplace?" asked Keen. "That is a gold watch," said the creature, "It belongs to Rod. He is Hafki's boyfriend. He doesn't deserve a watch, so I stole it from him and hid it here. You can have i if you want it." Keen took the watch and put it in his inventory. "Well, I must be off now," said Keen, "Also, I am not the king..." "I wish you luck, I hope you win, and I hope you turn back into our king," interupted the creature.
Keen went outside the tree then he went back to the creek where he found the two rocks. Keen decided to continue following the creek. A while later, he came to a stone bridge over the creek. There was a stone man (not alive, fake) standing beside the bridge. 'That's nice,' thought Keen, 'Wouldn't that stone bridge and man look nice in somebody's garden on Earth?' Just then Keen saw sommething glowing under the bridge (on the side of the creek he was on). Keen small enough went under the bridge to see what it was. It was some weird looking iron stick. After a few minutes of looking at it, Keen realised it was a magic wand. The wand was empty and it had no magic in it. Keen decided to take the wand with him anyway. Keen then decided not to cross the bridge and to continue following the creek instead. A while later, he came to an old man. Beside the old man was a bucket of nails. Beside the bucket of nails was a pile of boards. "Heya there little fella, lookin for a deal?" the old man asked Keen. Keen started, "Well, I'm not the little creature you think I am..." "You see here," said the old man, "I got all these nails and boards. With them I plan to build a small shed right here. The only thing I need now is a hammer. If you can find me a hammer, I got lots of magic.I can give you enough magic to fill a wand." "I have a hammer," said Keen giving the hammer from his inventory to the old man. Keen then gave the wand he found to the old man. The old man filled the wand with magic then gave it back to Keen. Keen used the wand to take himself out of that foot-size creature form and turn him back ot Keen. He was now eigh year-old Commander Keen again. "Thank you," Keen said to the old man, "By the way, did you build that stone bridge and man down the creek?" The old man didn't answer. Keen started to continue his way down the creek. Just as Keen was leaving the area of the old man and his building (building of the shed), Keen felt someone grab him by his shoulders. "Okay, I got him" said a man's voice. The person who had grabbed Keen's shoulders turned Keen around and Keen saw that it was Rod. Hafki was there with him. "How did you turn back into an eight year-old boy?" yelled Hafki. "Let me take that," said Rod taking the wand from Keen's inventory. Rod then broke the wand in half and all the magic came spilling out of it and into the creek. "You killed my two assistants, Billy Blaze," yelled Hafki. Rod carried Keen to the stone bridge and man and Hafki followed Rod to that area. With his magic wand, Rod turned the stone man into a portal. "You go ahead, my baby," Rod said to Hafki. Hafki went into the portal then came out at the oasis in the XXX desert. With her magic wand, Hafki turned the portal back into a big rock. Meanwhile, Rod carried Keen into the portal (the portal that was the stone man) and they came out of the portal at the bottom of the second flight of stairs to Hafki's tower. Rod carried Keen up the second flight of stairs and into the tower-room. "Now you stay here," Rod said to Keen, "Meanwhile I have to go meet Hafki in the XXX desert. After that we'll be back here to kill you." Rod left the room then shut the door then locked it. Keen then heard Rod go down the second flight of stairs then into the portal. Rod had locked the door so Keen couldn't get out. Keen couldn't jump out the window this time because he didn't have the falling advantage that the green foot-size creature had. Keen took the silver key from his inventory and unlocked the chest. Inside the chest Keen found all sorts of weird things such as lizard skin, a ball of mold, a jar of dust, Hakfi's spell book, and some rubber string. Keen cleared all those things out of the chest and onto the floor. Underneath where those things were, the chest was filled with gold coins. 'Wow, gold coins,' thought Keen. Keen picked up Hafki's spell book. There was a picture of Mortimer McMire on the front cover of the book. Keen opened the book to a page.On that page was a spell called "Fire Rocks." First it gave instructions on how to give ordinary rocks these powers with a magic spell. After the instructions it said to throw the rocks at someone then they will turn this person into a random creature. Keen heard the door unlock then open. "What are you doing with that book?" yelled Hafki's voice. Keen turned around and saw Rod and Hafki behind him. Hafki grabbed the book from Keen while Rod dropped his wand. Before Rod could pick up his wand, Keen ran over and grabbed it. "Haha, I have a wand again," said Keen, "Hey Rod, now you see what happens when you break somebody's wand?" Using Rod's wand, Keen quickly gave the powers from that spell to the two rocks (originally the plants) in his inventory. Just as Keen was about to throw the rocks at Rod and Hafki, Hafki took her wand and turned Keen into a frog. 'Uh oh, frogs aren't capable of throwing rocks," thought Keen. Keen was however able to take Rod's wand and turn Hafki into a turtle. Hafki then took her wand and turned Keen into a snake. Keen quickly used Rod's wand to turn himself back into Commander Keen. Hafki then used her wand to turn herself back to Hafki. "Well, you're both back to normal and now one of you will die," said Rod, "I'm hoping for Hafki to win and for Keen to die." Keen threw one Rock at Rod then the other one at Hafki. As soon as the rocks hit, they turned into small alien creatures. They were both the same type of creature and they looked exactly like each other except Hafki was red and Rod was blue.
"What, where's my wand?" screamed Hafki. "I don't know, wherever you put it," said Rod. "SHUT UP," yelled Hafki. Keen took both wands and through them out the window. They both landed in the creek. "Sometimes life feels better without magic," said Keen, "Especailly in space." Keen left the tower then went down the two flights of stairs. He then followed the cave to the circle of passages where he then went down the cave passage that led outside the cave where the quick sand was in the bottom of the revene. Before Keen got to where the fork in the cave was (going the other way) he ran into Peter Heardgahna. "Keen, can you please tell me where the bathroom is?" asked Peter. "Can you wait til we get back to Earth?" asked Keen, "I'm going there right now. You can come back with me if you want." "Yes, I'm here on this planet lost and scared," said Peter. Peter followed Keen out of the cave. "I have to go to the bathroom," Peter said just before they went outside the cave. Soon, they were back at Keen's BWB Megarocket where Keen first started on that planet. "Okay, let's go in," said Keen. "I have to go to the bathroom," said Peter. Keen went inside the BWB Megarocket. As soon as he went inside, the rocket fell to peices and Keen landed on the ground. Uh oh, it must have been a fake BWB," siad Keen, "The real one must still be in my backyard on Earth. Oh, I see this fake rocket I just broke is made out of cardboard." "I have to go to the bathroom," siad Peter. "Well, Rod and Hafki are now aliens," said Keen, "I'm sure they could find us a ship." Keen and Peter went back over to the revene where the shakey bridge was. "Oh and Peter, can you please help me get this big chest of gold coins out of the tower?" asked Keen. "I have to go to the bathrrom," said Peter. Soon, Keen and Peter were at the circle of passages in the cave. They took the cave passage to the flight of stairs then went up the two flights of stairs and into Hafki's tower. "Okay good, the chest is still here," Keen said when they first entered the tower. The chest full of gold coins was still there, but Rod and Hafki (as aliens) were gone. Keen and Peter picked up the chest and started to carry it. Just as they were about to leave the tower-room, a man (he looked like a king and he was wearing a king's clothes) entered the room. "Congratulations, Sir Billy Blaze, you killed the evil Hafki," said the man, "I'm sure Masdi and Hafki deserved being what you turned them into." Keen and Peter put the chest down then Keen shook hands with the man. "I have to go to the bathroom," said Peter. "I am King *-*-* ," said the man ,"I am the king of this planet. Now follow me and will go to my castle. You two can carry the chest there with you. All the gold coins in that chest belong to me. Hafki stole them from me quite a long time ago" Keen and Peter picked up the chest then followed *-*-* down the second flight of stairs then they followed him (with the chest) through the portal. All three of them (with the chest) came out of the portal in what was suppose to be a throne room in a great big castle on the planet *-*-* . There was no throne in that throne room. There was a big door in the wall on the opposite sid of the room as the portal. There were four alien guards in the room, two on each side of the portal and two on each side of the big door. The green foot-size creature, the metal man, the old man who was building the shed and gave Keen the magic, and a big green male alien wizard were in the throne room too. The portal suddenly turned into a throne. There was now an alien guard on each side of the throne (the same ones that were on each side of the portal). "King *-*-* , take your seat on the throne," said the alien wizard. *-*-* sat down on the throne. "Keen and Peter, welcome to my casltle" said *-*-* . "Put that chest down in that corner," the alien wizard said pointing at a corner of the room. Keen and Peter put the oak chest full of gold coins in that corner. "And as a reward for slaying the evil Hafki I will let Keen have one of my gold coins," said *-*-* , "Peter, you can have a gold coin too." Keen and Peter went over to the chest then they each took one gold coin out of the chest and put them in their inventories. "I would like everyone in this room to meet Meche, the alien wizard who is from planet Xargo," saiud *-*-* ,"Whle Keen was killing Hafki, Meche came over to this planet and found me turned to stone so he turned me back. I was that stone man beside the stone bridge when I was turned to stone. Now, Keen and Peter, Meche has a big ship that he will now take you two back to Earth in." The two alein guards beside the big door opened the big door. "You may now leave," *-*-* said to Keen and Peter "Also, thank you again, Keen, for killing the evil Hafki. This entire planet always wanted that to happen." Keen and Peter followed Meche through the big door which on the other side was at the very end of a long corridor (the big door was in the dead-end wall of the corridor). They then followed hm down the corridor to the other end of the corridor where the castle's big front door was in the dead-end wall at that end of the corridor. Keen and Peter then foolowed Meche outisde the door where there was a mote surrounding the castle with two aligators in it. "Thank you, Mr. Keen, for killing Hafki," the two alligators said as Keen and Peter crossed the mote. After crossing the mote, Keen and Peter followed Meche through the big castle gates. There were two more alien guards, one on each side of the big castle gates. On the other side of the big gates, a great big spaceship was parked outside *-*-*'s castle. Keen and Peter followed Mech into the ship then Meche flew them back to Earth. "This ship can go twice as fast as any other ship," Meche said as they left pllanet *-*-* ,"I'll have you guys back to Earth in no time." A long time later when the ship was right above planet Earth, Meche said, "This ship is too big to land on Earth, you'll have to go down to the level below this one and use the small pods." Keen and Peter left the control room then they found themselves in a hallway where there was a stairway down to the next level of the ship. The stairway was right beside the door to the control room. "Goodbye, Keen and Peter," Meche said as the two of them left the control room. Keen and Peter went down the stairs. All there was at the bottom of the stairs was a door. Keen opened the door then he and Peter went through it. They then found themselves in a big garage with eight small space pods (mini spaceships) in it. "Goodbye Keen," said Peter, "Thank you for saving me from that scary planet. After being in all those computer games, you have for once done something good in life." Peter then got into one of the eight pods then flew it down to his part of Earth. Once Peter's pod was completely out of site and could no longer be heard, Keen looked down and found a gold coin on the ground. "Uh oh, it looks like Peter dropped his god coin," said Keen. Keen picked up the coin then put it in his inventory. He now had to gold coins in his inventory. "I'm sure that's Peter's coin, I still have mine," said Keen, "I guess now they're both mine. I may never see/find Peter again." Keen got into another one of the pods then he flew it off Meche's ship. Keen then flew the pod down to his backyard on Earth. He landed it beside his BWB. As soon as Keen got out of the pod, Spot (Keen's pet yorp) ran over and greeted him. Keen then went into the house and into the kitchen. His mom was there making supper. "Wow, you must have been working hard on your homeowrk and studying really hard," she said, "It sure took you a long time.""And I got two gold coins out of it, "said Keen, "And a space pod. Now I have two spaceships, the BWB and the spacepod." Keen showed his mom the two gold coins. "Wow, we're rich," said Keen's mom. Suddenly, Keen woke up and found himself in his bed in the middle of the night. 'It must have all been a dream,' thought Keen.
THE END
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Forge315
Grunt
Posts: 16
(5/22/01 11:29 pm)
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?
?
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Snaily 
Vortininja
Posts: 166
(5/23/01 2:38 pm)
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Re: ?
Some <ENTER>s would do good to that text
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VF4588
Vortininja
Posts: 188
(5/23/01 3:48 pm)
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Re: ?
Phew, I'm too tired n old for those looong books like that :S
vf4588@sdent.every1.net · homepage · ck nexus · stardust |
Forge315
Grunt
Posts: 17
(5/23/01 3:51 pm)
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story name
Did you read the story Snaily? Do you think the “A” should be exempt from the title; I really want to know, it sounds okay either way. But is it grammatically better one way or the other?
Quote:
Some <ENTER>s would do good to that text
Yeah, it would do a world of good; but I my self am very used to reading stuff like that.
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Snaily
Vortininja
Posts: 167
(5/23/01 7:13 pm)
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Re: story name
No, it felt too heavy.
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XkyRauh2001 
Vortininja
Posts: 38
(5/24/01 7:14 pm)
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Wow
hmm...
many many MANY redundant sentances in it *grin*
the plot itself wasn't too bad. sounded like it was based off of a LucasArts game or something, what with the heavy use of "inventory" and the whole old man needs item A to give item B nonsense.
pretty good story, whoever wrote it :-) good use of imagination.
but the other comments are right. it could use better paragraph spacing, and it's very confusing at points.
--Xky
Heads up for that CatterKiller...!
Sonic, Lemmings, Commander Keen, Final Fantasy, Kirby, Chrono Trigger... Quite a Mix, if you ask me ^_^ |
Flaose
Vorticon Elite
Posts: 380
(6/1/01 2:08 pm)
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Re: New fanfiction
It's up on cc314 now...a few spelling edits, but otherwise still confusing as ever.
www.classicgaming.com/cc314/fanworks/fiction/delirious.html
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Forge315
Grunt
Posts: 25
(6/2/01 12:50 am)
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Fanfic
Thanks!
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