Gold Community Public Commander Keen Forum
    > Other Keen Stuff
        > Keen Community Story
New Topic    Add Reply

Page 1 2 3 4

<< Prev Topic | Next Topic >>
Author Comment
forge
Vortininja
Posts: 69
(4/21/01 1:37 am)
Reply
Keen Community Story
It was a usual day for Billy, that is until something strange happened.
He was busy working in his club-house, when he herd a bang against the roof, needless to say he was perplexed, so he ran out. What he saw freaked him out, hundreds NO thousands, of little blue aliens floating down from the sky; they were slowly floating down, they all had little blue float packs against their backs, they were landing all around, every ware he looked there were more of them.

Billy yelled "What is this?" and they all said in unison "We come to eat all your food! We come to eat all your food!".

Billy said "You cant do that!… I wont let you!" and with a very proud voice Billy said "Because I am Commander Keen defender if all the universe!" and at that moment he transformed into Commander Keen.

"Ha! We don’t care who you are! Get him boys!" said a particularly large one (their only about 1/4 a foot tall).

Ten of them landed on Commander Keen, punching and kicking him.

"AAAAA!" Keen yelled. He began to throw them off, finally he got free, then he ran into his club house and locked the door behind him. Keen picked up his emergency phone and called Forge, "FORGE!! Little blue aliens are invading Earth! They are going to eat all are food! We need to gather the Keen Community."

The aliens began to brake down the door, "I got to go; the little one are going to be here soon." At that very moment the aliens broke through the door, and as they rushed him, Keen said "Gather the Keen Community we have to stop them- ‘---Bang-Crash---!’" the line went dead.

Well that’s the beginning now what will Forge do?

KeenEmpire
Grunt
Posts: 10
(4/21/01 6:34 am)
Reply
Keen Community Story (Continued)
As the line went ded "Holy", forge said. He looked around and quickly packed all of his breakfast and stuff back into the cupboard (and locked it) and fridge. He quickly dialed up some other commiunity members but suddenly the aliens invaded his house too, and he jumped out of the window. As he looked back in he saw the little blue aliens trying to open his cupboards and hundreds of them trying to pull the fridge open. "Good, that should buy us some time", he said, and continued dialing.


[Editors note: I CANT STOP I"M TOO ADDICTED!!!!!!!]

forge
Vortininja
Posts: 78
(4/26/01 4:00 am)
Reply
Keen Community Story (Forge on his way)
Forge ran hard. He new somehow that he was probably going to have to save Earth and Keen all by himself. He looked ahead, Keen’s house was just a couple blocks away, he wondered if anyone else would be there. He breathed deep and ran just a little harder. Not much farther…..

Ilsoap
Vortininja
Posts: 175
(4/26/01 6:44 pm)
Reply
Continued
Forge entered Keen's house. Small blue creatures with tiny stars circling around their foreheads lay everywhere. Then Forge heard muffled sounds outside. He glanced out the window to the back yard and saw Keen cornered by the small blue aliens, firing his neural stunner left and right. Forge quickly ran outside.

Keen yelled "Quick Forge, into the clubhouse!! There's a few weapons in there that you will be able to use!!" Without hesitation, he ran in the clubhouse as Keen continued firing on the creatures.

Inside, he noticed Ilsoap was already there. He was having a staring contest with Spot, although Ilsoap - having his glasses on - had a 4-1 advantage, so the game was quite shortlived. Forge cried, "What are you doing sitting around? Keen's in trouble right outside!!"

"From what?" Ilsoap asked.

"Tiny inch-high blue aliens!" Forge answered.

"Oh...", Ilsoap said. "Why don't you step on them?"

"There's too many!"

"Well get a bigger shoe, then! I hear there's this old lady that lives in this humungous sneaker down on Fifth Street..."

"There's no time for that! Help me!!"

"But I was just about to teach Spot about peripheral vision!"

"Man, you're no help at all!"

Forge grabbed his red raygun (which made Spot quiver, as he recognized it immediately from Mars) and headed outside again.

So what's the speed of dark, anyway?

forge
Vortininja
Posts: 82
(4/29/01 1:57 am)
Reply
WHY that little alien!
Coming to Keens help, Forge leaped sideways firing Keen’s ray gun. ACK! ACK! ACK! Cried the three aliens he hit. With both Forge and Keen fighting, a opening soon appeared, Keen dashed daringly through! HA, HA! They cried, as they jumped it him. Keen brushed them aside. After a couple minutes him and Forge had killed all the aliens; in Keen’s backyard.

"Thanks Forge!" Keen said.

"NNNNOOOOO!" came a yell out of Keen’s club house. Keen and Forge jumped.

Ilsoap came running out, "I can’t believe that dumb alien beat me!!! So humiliating!".

"What did you expect, Yorp’s can’t blink." Forge said.

"O I didn’t know that… WHY that little alien!" Ilsoap began to turn around.

"What?" Keen said.

And Forge stops writing.

Ilsoap
Vortininja
Posts: 181
(4/30/01 11:13 pm)
Reply
Story
"Uh, never mind, Keen, it's not that important." Ilsoap replied. "Oh well, I'd still be superior if I challenged him to a cross-eyed contest."

Forge shook his head, then suddenly looked up. "Hey, looks like some other members of the Keen community got the message, there they come."

So what's the speed of dark, anyway?

forge
Vortininja
Posts: 91
(5/1/01 3:45 am)
Reply
Neil out of the blue
"Hey there’s Neil! Hey Neil; long time no see!" yelled Forge.

(nobody better shoot Neil; I mean that!)

Ilsoap with a puzzled look said "What’s this my precious?"

Answering Ilsoap question Forge said with a smile "Neil will be joining us, thanks in part to us having a cool moderator; I will say all Neil’s post for him."

(common everybody join the story this is your chance)

I Am Keen
Vortininja
Posts: 147
(5/2/01 12:29 am)
Reply
Re: Neil out of the blue
I Am Keen comes running in, and beats Niel over the head with a sausage. Then he shoots Niel in the foot.

"What do you think you are doing?" asked Forge. "I told you not to shoot him!"

Forge shoots I Am Keen and the yorp goes over and starts eating him. Once the yorp is through eating, he exclaims: "Yippee! Now I have absorbed I Am Keen's power! I can... I can... I can fly! Just like I Am Keen! WHEEE!"

The yorp flies into the air. "Let's go see where those aliens came from! Come on everybody! Take my hand! Sprinkle some magic dust on your heads! We can fly, we can fly, we can fly, we can fly, we can flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

"Ooh!" exclaimed IlSoap. "Here come Wendy and Peter and... PETER PAN! WOWEE! Soon we will be ready to elave and find the source of this alien menace! Any other Keeners comign to help better hurry!"

DADDY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGE you cannot hurt me, not with my cheese helmet THE #1 SON, THAT'S ME, I'M THE #1 SON! what are doing with that horse i want to try the horsy i want to try the horsy http://www.crosswinds.net/~thereallycoolguy/

forge
Vortininja
Posts: 92
(5/2/01 3:31 am)
Reply
Insanity Comes
The strange things happening in front of Ilsoap eyes seem so unreal but how he’s awake. His view suddenly wavers and he faints.

Ilsoap opens his eyes to see Keen kneeling over him, "Are you okay?" Keen says.

"What-what… What happened?" asked Ilsoap.

"You fainted that’s what happened." Says Neil.

Ilsoap looks around: no flying Yorp, no idiotic Peter Pan thing’s, it was all just a case of temporary insanity.

Forge looks around with a sharp eye and says "We’d had best go."

Keen helps Ilsoap get up. Ilsoap then hands Neil a spare ray-gun, and says "We can get going now—What the--what’s that?" Ilsoap finishes by pointing to the sky.

They all lookup. A ship hovering high in the sky has just been revealed as some clouds parted. It was larger than any of the had ever seen. It greatness overwhelms them.

"So that’s where the little menaces are coming from." Says Forge.

Keen says "I guess are best move would be to destroy that ship. Me and Ilsoap will take the BWB and blow it up. Forge you and Neil must get rid of all the little aliens--LETS GO PEOPLE!"

Keen and Ilsoap run off.

Neil looks over at Forge and says "Well lets go do are job. Those little aliens will never know what hit them!"

"Ya, lets start with this neighborhood. We can then move on to the city." Says Forge.

They jumped Keen's fence, and carefully start to search the next house. Forge look’s up for a second and sees the BWB making it’s way toward the big ship. He breath deep again, and continues on with Neil.

That’s the end of chapter one "Many Little Thing’s".

KeenEmpire
Grunt
Posts: 16
(5/2/01 10:39 am)
Reply
ITTS TOO BBIEEG
Ilsoap was beginning to worry now. There was something peculiar about the sight of that ship. Something about the shadow....something familiar. It was too familiar, but he still couldn't think of what it might be. He started "Keen, do you have any idea where this thing is? It's already been 10 minutes and we arn't even there yet."

"Dunno", Keen replied. "Apparently this ships got good stealth, I can't pinpoint its distance from us. But we know the direction, might as well keep going."

"Are we sure this thing isn't just a hologram of some sort?"

"Nahhh, I'm detecting massive concentrations of different types of iridium and metals, as well as a time-bending signature. It has to be there....somewhere."

After a few minutes passed Ilsoap continued "Can't we increase the speed of this ship? The thing looks barely larger than when we were on earth."

"I suppose so", and with that the ship increased speed to 3/4 speed of light. The distance between the two ships started to get smaller and smaller. The alien ship was getting bigger and bigger. When suddenly, after 30 seconds, they had a big suprise.

"OOOoooo sh!t", they both said. "We're in deep trouble now." The planet of Mars finally came into view, and apparently, the ship was at least THREE TIMES the size of it. A large number of specks suddenly left the giant ship and began heading down for Mars. Upon magnification they appeared to be the same aliens who had parachuted into the Earth's atmosphere.

"Awww man", Ilsoap said. "There must be billions of them, trillions!"

But the specks were the least of Keen's worries. "The gravitational distortion is getting larger!!! This is at least eight times the mass of the earth."

But suddenly a bright light flashed. Something was happening, something bad.

"Hmmm, according to these sensors, there's at least 50 of those aliens, heading right for us..Wait, we're also recieving a radio message!!!" He turned on the Phrotocon Transciever installed in the ship.

"We shall eat the scraps of metal that you have put in space, We have come to eat all the scraps of metal."

"YOURE CALLING MY SHIP SCRAPS OF METAL!!!!?!??!", Keen shouted. But the aliens kept coming.

"We've better turn this ship around", Ilsoap calmly said. "You CAN outrun them, can't you?"

"Certainly", Keen said. "But first...Computer, activate Tantulus Rays can prepare to fire at that big ship over there."

The computer said "Lock, loaded, and ready. Firing in 10...9....8..........3...2...1........0......-1...."

"WHAT?", Keen shouted. "Wheres the shot?"

Suddenly, however, there was a loud clinking. The computer now said "Warning, weapons array breached by debres that looks like...teeth???!?!?!? Wait a minute, new warning, hall penetrated. Decompression in 2 minutes."

"Oh no, this isn't good", Ilsoap said.

"Yep, I've been in this situation many timnes, and have a symnosis for it."

"What?"

"We're screwed."

"Good call...."....

Ilsoap
Vortininja
Posts: 182
(5/2/01 5:56 pm)
Reply
Blue aliens, oh my
Meanwhile, Forge and Neil were back on earth, blasting away every alien they could see (and incidentally, there was a lot of them).

"Hey Forge!" Neil said, "Can you hold the fort for a minute? I got an idea!"

"Well, OK, but get back here as soon as possible!" Forge worriedly replied.

Neil ran into the Blaze family garage. In the corner he spied Billy's brother's snowshoes. "All right!" Neil quickly duct taped the bottom of the snowshoes, put them on his feet, and then ran as fast as he could outside.

The blue aliens were beginning to swarm Forge. "Take this suckers!" Neil ran towards Forge, stepping on 50 aliens at a time with each step. After doing a few laps around the yard, the area was clear of any aliens (any living ones anyways).

"Good thinking Neil." Forge said. Then, he bent down to examine the aliens more closely. "Hey, I never noticed these little white things on their heads before. They almost look like hats."

"That's odd." Neil replied.

Both stood there puzzled, then suddenly stared at each other. "You don't suppose..." "They couldn't be..." "Are they..."

"They're SMURFS!!!"

Both stood there stunned. "They certainly have gotten meaner since they had that TV show."

"There's probably an explanation for that. In any case, we gotta help the rest of the town. They're still coming down."

------------

Meanwhile, in space, the BWB Megarocket was flying towards earth as fast as it could without seriously messing up the space-time continuum (which Keen has done once, although that's another story altogether). Following the BWB was a legion of spacecraft, with the huge mothership far behind.

"How are we supposed to protect earth! There's too many of these ships following us!" Ilsoap yelled.

"Don't panic, Ilsoap. The first thing we have to do is create a diversion." Keen calmly answered.

"Like how?"

"Remember what the aliens said? They are looking for anything metal."

"Yeah, so?"

"Circling the earth is about forty thousand pieces of space junk, ranging in size from nuts and bolts to one or two pieces of Mir that didn't come down with the rest of the ship."

Ilsoap smiled. "I get it. If we can collect all of that junk and hurl it in their direction, they'll swarm to it like giraffes to... uh... giraffe food."

Keen rolled his eyes. "Yeah, something like that."

So what's the speed of dark, anyway?

KeenCommander
Vortininja
Posts: 100
(5/2/01 9:29 pm)
Reply
Re: Blue aliens, oh my
"So... Ah, How are we gonna collect these pieces of metal," Ilsoap said.

"Well--"

Suddenly the radio crackled as Forge tried to contact Keen.

"Yeah? What's up Forge?" said Keen.

"We've discovered these alien's origin"

"WHAT?!" Exclaimed Keen. "What--who are they?"

"Yeah, they're smurfs. Got any better suggestions on destroying them than neural blasts, and snow shoes?"

"Snow Shoes?" said Ilsoap. "Who's using snow shoes?"

Forge laughed, "It was Neil's idea... Pretty effective too!"

"Well we'll work on it, Forge," said Keen. "Right now, though, we've gotta initialize my tesla-powered onboard electromagnet. so we can collect some metal There's only one problem...."

"What's that?" quered Neil.

"Well, after Spot mistook a sleeping Bounder for the ball for the top of my Tesla coil, I shut it down so there'd be no more casualties."

"Where is it?" asked, Forge.

"It's in the Mojave desert--here I'm uploading a map to the underground terminal. Send someone to start it up, and we'll be able to create one massive distraction for these aliens!"

Edited by: KeenCommander at: 5/2/01 4:31:30 pm
Ilsoap
Vortininja
Posts: 184
(5/4/01 4:17 pm)
Reply
Mojave desert?
"We'll see what we can do! Forge out!"

Ilsoap turned to Keen. "You put a potentially earth-saving piece of equipment in the Mojave Desert? What did you do that for?"

Keen replied, "It seemed pretty natural at the time. Who's gonna look for it there?"

"Well, okay," Ilsoap continued, "But we still have the problem of our little hull breach. We only have a minute before our ship implodes from those smurf guys biting into it."

"No prob. Look in the glove compartment."

"Which one?!"

"Row C, Column 1."

Ilsoap got up on a crate and looked inside the glove compartment Keen referred to. "What is all this?"

"Every alien planet I've ever gone to has tremendous amounts of unhealthy snacks just floating in the air. I couldn't eat all that I collect at one time, so I stored most of it in those glove compartments. That compartment has bubblegum, jawbreakers, and suckers.", Keen explained.

"Ohhh... I gotcha".

Ilsoap pulled out an incredibly large piece of bubblegum, wadded it in his mouth, chewed a few times, then placed the wadded gum over the cracks of the ship, sealing it off.

"Phew. Good thinking Keen. Now we just have to get that electromagnet."

"Yeah," Keen replied.

Ilsoap pondered for a second. "Too bad we couldn't just use the earth's magnetic field somehow."

Keen stared at Ilsoap. "Hey. You might have something there."

So what's the speed of dark, anyway?

KeenEmpire
Grunt
Posts: 17
(5/6/01 8:56 am)
Reply
Time=Bought, Clues Coming
By now, of course, the rest of the town had found out about the little blue aliens. When Neil and Forge walked to the next house there was a barricade of hockey sticks and tennis rackets squashing the aliens. Neil’s snowshoes, however, wiped them off thirty times faster.

“Whew”, the guy next door said. He was awfully fat. “Thanks kids.”

“EERRRM”, Forge said. Then whispering to Neil “Kids?” After a while he finally said, loudly “You’re, erm, welcome.”

“Hmmm whos that kid there wearing the snowshoes? That’s pretty smart.”

“Kid? That’s Neil.”

“Shut up kid, he’s ten times smarter than you…and I’m a hundred times smarter than you…so that makes me….12 times smarter than him!”

They both walked away in disgust. “Sux @$$”, Neil said. “You don’t suppose that was KeenEmpire, trying to insult us?”

“No”, KeenEmpire said. “I’m here.”

“Where?”, forge said.

“Spectating the world from up above. I’m too chicken to join the story. Besides, I’m not a ten-thousandth as fat as him.”

“Err, whatever”, Neil said. But morale was significantly decreased. “Hmm this is tiring”, he continued. “How bout we go for a cheesburger?”

“Fine with me.” But when they got to the fast food resteraunt, hundreds of blue aliens were already there, along with shouts of “MY FOOD MY FOOD THEY ATE ALL MY FOOD!!!!!! WHERES MY MONEY!!?!?!?” They didn’t even bother to kill the invaders.

“There’s no point.” Forge realized at last. “There must be billions of trillions of quadtrillions of quintrillions of those aliens. There’s no way we can step on them all.”

“Hmmm. So what should we do?”

“Well, these smurfs are from a TV show, so would the TV station have any clues of what has become of them?”

“HOLEE crap that’s right! Off to the TV station”

“Glory!”, they said, passing the guy who insulted them. He was under attack by another wave of blue aliens, until he got overpowered and fell down, his body squashing about 600 of them. He ran in and they heard some crys of “HEELP ME OBI-WAN KENOBI!!! I’m OUTTA FOOD1!1!” After a short watch the two guys snickered and resumed their journey to the station.
[Meanwhile, in space….]

“Annoying”, Ilsoap said. “So, will this help us use the Earth’s magnetosphere field to capture the scraps?”

“Not sure”, Keen said. “It should, but no one really knows why the field’s there. Still, probability of success is going up…yes…maybe….no…dammit. The problem is that the scraps are attracted to different polarities. We just can’t concentrate EVERYTHING into a small area with a magnet this big.”

“You don’t suppose…--”

“Beep beep graoidhpogeihovenkvlnewoivhoa;hevwoiefjiawo;fahfweliagawie”

“That must be the radio”, Keen said, as the computer kept droning sounds. “Wait, it’s a signal from the giant TV station in my hometown…sending pulses of information to the alien ship!”

“Undecodable”, the computer said. But then “Warning, gravity well detected. Well is canceling out the magnetic field. Warning, well is canceling Earth’s gravity field. Earth anti-gravity eminent in 15 seconds.”

“Crap”, Ilsoap said. “That means everyone will die! Without gravity, space will suck in all the atmosphere.”

“Got an idea”, Keen said, seeing that all the scraps were being sucked in toward the gravity well. The ship ran toward it, then suddenly, with a burst of speed, he took off. “YEEEE HAWWW!!!”. As acceleration took place at a speed beyond what Keen would normally do, the space time got seriously bent, sucking in all the scraps toward Keen’s ship. As the ship moved, space time started bending at it, and the metal was sucked again. As a result, Keen’s ship was rushing at 10 times the speed of light, with the scraps of space metal chasing him.

A voice on radio “GEET HIM!!! HES STEELING ALL OUR METAL!!!!!”

The aliens and the gravity well started rushing toward him. “YEEE HAW!!!” Keen said. Then, whispering into his communicator “I bought you some time, Neil. You’ve better come up with something good.”

****

Forge saw the enterance of the TV station at last. He reconised KeenEmpire, knocked out on the ground. “Erm…anything happening?”, he asked.

“I was speccing the station and flew into it at 120 mph. Cant fly anymore. Dammit, I’m exiled into the story now.”

“You got any weapons?”, Neil said. “We didn’t think to bring any spares.”

KeenEmpire took out an axe but Forge shook it off. “Too bloody”, he said.

“Oh yeah, now I remember why I carried this.” He took out a weird sk8board. Pressing a button, several whirring blades came out from all sides. “Deathboard.”, he said, without further explanation.

“You know how to skate?”

“No…”

“Erm..well its better than nuthin.”

“Wanna trade?”

“Nah…”, Neil said, looking at the rusted metal. “Oh well, lets not delay, go in.”

Forge315
Grunt
Posts: 5
(5/8/01 1:38 am)
Reply
in the TV station
They approached the door.

With a sure voice Neil said "Step back." KeenEmpire and Forge step back.

Neil ran toward the door yelling "AHHH!", he through himself hard against it’s metallic surface, and with a big bang fell on his butt.

"OW!" wined Neil.

"Hey that looks like fun!" said Forge, he then ran toward the door.

"Don’t Forge!" yelled KeenEmpire. To late he hit the door.

KeenEmpire covers his face, *BANG*. Silence. He slowly opens his eyes. "YOWW!" yells Forge not being able to stand the pain any longer.

KeenEmpire says "You guys are pathetic, that door must be at least be 3 inches thick." He looks up to the sky and sighs. "Did you ever think of just trying the doorknob." he walks past the groaning mass of idiots and opens the door. Its all dark inside, no light anywhere.

"Common." Whispers KeenEmpire. He slowly creeps inside. Takes a quick look around. It’s a small room, basic furniture line the room. A hallway is on the other side, it leads off and makes a sharp turn, a little flicker of green shines at the end.

He slowly creeps his way across the room.

Forge and Neil, both a little sore now, start to argue. "Let me in!" complains Forge.

"HA, not a chance!" says Neil as a pushes Forge out of the way and runs in.

"Quiet." says KeenEmpire with a harsh whisper.

Once together in the room they make their way down the hall. Once at the end Neil pears around the corner. It’s a long sort of wide room; with equipment along the wall, the green light was coming from the equipment. Also at the end of the room He sees Homnibus from Smurfs sitting in a char sipping coffee.

(Homnibus is an enchanter)

"How in the world?" thinks Neil.

Neil steps back. "It’s a long room guys, Homnibus is sitting in a char at the end." Whispers Neil.

"Homnibus huu…" Says Forge.

"Yeah, what do you suppose he’s doing here?" Says Neil.

"Lets just go ask him." says KeenEmpire strutting around the corner.

Homnibus looks up and says "What…." He starts to go for the control panel, but Forge raises his RayGun. Seeing the Gun pointing right at him Homnibus slowly leans back in his seat.

"Okay Homnibus; why are the Smurfs here?" asks Neil.

"What ever are you talking about?" says Homnibus.

"Don’t play dumb with us, or you will be dead before you can say ‘I give up’!" says KeenEmpire.

"Okay; I’ll talk…" says Homnibus.

"By the wishes of an alien race I summoned Greedy here, they took him and genetically manipulated him with BigMouth the ogre. The resulting creature was then mass duplicated and sent here to eat all the food on Earth, but they can also pretty much eat anything, as I’m sure you have found out." Explained Homnibus.

Greedy is a Smurf who is always hungry, and BigMouth is a ogre who will eat anything. With this combination an ever hungry little alien has been created. What are they to do!
Just to clarify how these aliens look, they are completely blue with a little bit of white on there heads.

"Dude….that’s heavy." Says Forge.

I think that’s a good ending for chapter two. Keen and --- are in trouble, O THE SUSPENSE, and Neil, Forge and KeenEmpire have come in with some revealing information. So I end this chapter by wanting someone else to name it. So what should it be called? Just be creative! Preferably more creative than me.

KeenEmpire
Grunt
Posts: 20
(5/8/01 9:19 am)
Reply
Conclusion of Chapter 2
Chapter 2 Continued...:

"However, it dosen't matter how much I tell you", Homnibus interrupted. "There is no way to stop these creatures; there's too many of them, and each have the ability to clone themselves. Also, you've noticed that they're EZ$$ to kill, but little did you know, they have 3 lives each and reencarate in barely...erm, an hour 20 minutes. After one reencarnates once, they produce 10 more clones automatically."

"Oh crap", Neil said.

Forge was more heavily taken about it. "YOU MEAN WE DID ALL THAT WORK, THAT MUST'VE BEEN 3 HOURS OF SQUASHING AT LEAST, FOR NOTHING!?!?!?!?!"

"On the contary, because you did all that work, probably 10,000 more have been produced."

"Holy crap", KeenEmpire said, taken aback. "10,000 is...too much."

But the "conversation" was interrupted by a sudden banging of doors, and another, a Vorticon, came in.

"Hmmm, got anything usefull yet Homni--WHAT THE!! WHAT R THESE PPL DOING HERE!?!?!?" He looked at the three investigators.

"Vorticons...crap, I thought you'd show at least a little more gratitude for Earth, after Keen saved you guys.", KeenEmpire muttered.

However, the Vorticon, with extra-sensitive ears, heard his absent-minded muttering. "Vorticons? No We're not involved. Well...", looking down at his body, "I guess we are, but not really! Well, not as you see it anyway. I came all the way from 80 years in the future to way in the past to fetch that incompetent idiot, but he did have alittle magic skillz, to take over Earth. The galaxy is very different in my time, believe you me. If Keen did not exist, the War of the Universes would not have come, leaving VOrticon VI and most of the Universe in ruins, 99.8% of Vorticons dead, and Keen insisted on defending Earth, sheesh, the populations of humans is alot more then Vorticons...in 72 years that is."

"What? Without Keen...the galaxy...the universe....lots lots more would be destroyed by now!!!", Forge exclaimed.

"Man, you guys dont think we know that? We're not here only to kill Keen and starve the Earth; we're also going to leave notes for armies throughout the universe of where and how to make sure these disasters wont happen. And now, you guys learned enough, you know Keen will, Keen must die, for the final time. This time he really will, it will be 444 times more sure than when he invaded the Vorticon homeworld."

"INVADED!?!?!?!", Neil said. "He SAVED YOU PPL. Dont u guys have any gratitude???"

"Nah...well, anyway, Keen's destiny is at hand, and now you guys shall die." Pressing a button on his wristwatch, the Vorticon activated some bubble around him which everyone already knew was shielding technology from the future. He then took out a wierd gun, purple, unlike anyone of them had seen before.

The three sprung to the door, but this time it was locked and secured with a force field.

"Goodbye", the Vorticon attacker said.

*********True End of Chapter 2**********

Xtraverse 
Vortininja
Posts: 127
(5/8/01 4:37 pm)
Reply
Chapter 3
The Rescue

Suddenly the ceiling starts disinegrating and a hole appears in it. Xtraverse drops in, right on top of the Vorticon's sheild. The Vorticon is startled and drops his gun which forge quickly grabs. The Vorticon, unarmed runs out of the room, mysteriously.
"Thanks for saving us." says Neil. "I'm not sure what we could of done. Do you have an idea of what the Vorticon is doing?"
"No."

...

Hanno Embregts
Grunt
Posts: 22
(5/23/01 7:51 am)
Reply
Chapter 3 (continued)
"Phew, glad he's gone" said Keen. "Now we must get the heck out of here." Look, Vorticon is flying in the direction of Mars with a little rocket!" "Huh, my Bean-with-Bacon Megarocket is much better", said Keen.

Just when they wanted to 'get the heck out of there', Vorticon came back. "His tiny little rocket is faster than yours, though", said Neil.

"Hey, a radio message is coming in!" said Keen.
"Now listen, Captain, I picked this little Yorp named Hanno up from Mars, and he has something to tell you.
"Tell Captain Keen what he has done to you, Hanno" said Vorticon. ("That's COMMANDER Keen!") "Well, I wanted to play with him, but he jumped on my head and left me unconscious!"

"See," said Vorticon. "He doesn't like you any more! Now he wants revenge!"

"Let him come", said Keen

TO BE CONTINUED...;

Edited by: Hanno Embregts at: 5/28/01 2:30:37 am
Forge315
Grunt
Posts: 19
(5/23/01 5:07 pm)
Reply
story stopped
Quote:
"Phew, glad he's gone" said Keen. "Now we must go." "Oh, no, Vorticon is coming back!" Neil shouts.

There he came, with a little Yorp named Hanno on his hand. "Tell Captain Keen what he has done to you, hanno" said Vorticon. ("That's COMMANDER Keen!";) "Well, I wanted to play with him, but he jumped on my head and left me unconscious!"

"See," said Vorticon. "He doesn't like you any more! Now he wants revenge!"

"Let him come", said Keen

I am not meaning to upset you but you must listen.

Your post is very creative I like the fact that Keen gets to meet a Yorp from mars. It’s very true to Keen and his universe. But there is a problem, Keen is in space not on earth at this point in the story. It’s an easy mistake to make, but it stops up the flow of the story, so can you please delete your post or rewrite it so it fits. I would really appreciate it; I want to write more on the plot keeping the story smooth flowing, with your help this can be accomplished quickly and efficiently.
Manny thanks!

Hanno Embregts
Grunt
Posts: 25
(5/28/01 7:33 am)
Reply
Re: story stopped
I'm sorry, my Dutch stories are better but I think you guys can't read that... (Yes, that's why my messages always are posted at 3 am)

Edited the story some. Hope it's good enough for you, forge...

P.S When you have read this one, I will delete it for you.

Hanno Embregts
Grunt
Posts: 26
(5/28/01 7:34 am)
Reply
....
so continue the story, forge!

Edited by: Hanno Embregts at: 5/29/01 5:47:00 am
Forge315
Grunt
Posts: 20
(5/29/01 7:23 pm)
Reply
Story's
Thanks!

I don’t have time to do anything with the story right now, but I will get to it soon.

If you could translate your story’s I would be interested in reading them, just as long as they don’t get much bigger than 10 thousand words. I could read story’s that are 50 thousand words or more on the weekends, but my normal days are monopolized.

The Talking Dog123
Grunt
Posts: 31
(6/2/01 5:24 am)
Reply
Re: Story's
Shockshund, who was the furthest away from the message, finally appears on the scene. He spots the vorticons, but no blue aliens wanting food. He sends out his level 100 ninetails to fireblast the vorticons, then his level 45 kadabra teleports them back to vorticon vi. Then his lv. 65 haunter blocks the vorticons from leaving vorticon vi. When all seems to be going well, chogall appears, and it seems he's under a spell of the vorticons to make him evil!


That's all for me... for now...

Okay i'll admit it i am shockshund but please don't ban me i'll be a good doggy now(i'm saying doggy because shockshunds are doggies plus my id is the talking dog123)

Xtraverse 
Vortininja
Posts: 135
(6/7/01 12:17 pm)
Reply
hmmm...
for some reason i have a feeling that isn't shockshund...
but that really doesn't fit the story at all.

LaserBeams
Grunt
Posts: 6
(6/7/01 2:32 pm)
Reply
Re: Keen Community Story
LB, bewildered by everything that has gone unnoticed to him, hides in his basement with 2 pallets of Mountain Dew, a mountain of Doritos, and his pet ferret (not really). LB is distressed, so he starts to knit a car-cover out of alpaca-wool. "You can't stop me! Nobody can stop me! MUAHAHAHAHAA!" The ferret bites LB on the nose.

-Meaningless drivel, all of it. Someone with writing talent, get back in here and add to the story! =)

Hanno Embregts
Vortininja
Posts: 53
(6/8/01 8:38 am)
Reply
Re: Keen Community Story
Please, forge, make this story better!
Last replies were rubbish.

Commander Keen uses Hanno Power!

Forge315
Vortininja
Posts: 35
(6/9/01 10:18 pm)
Reply
Keen Story
It is messed up. I am going to skip the last couple messages. I was going to ad to the story a couple days ago, but there is one little discrepancy early on in the story; I have to figure out how to fix it, it’s very confusing. I think I will do this Monday.

Hanno Embregts
Vortininja
Posts: 55
(6/11/01 7:14 am)
Reply
Re: Keen Story
Thanks Forge!

Commander Keen uses Hanno Power! and he likes Hanno's Keen site:
commanderkeen.pagina.nl

Forge315
Vortininja
Posts: 64
(6/21/01 10:51 pm)
Reply
test
test

Forge315
Vortininja
Posts: 65
(6/21/01 11:00 pm)
Reply
?
Does anyone have a copy of the last couple posts?

Forge315
Vortininja
Posts: 79
(6/25/01 2:33 pm)
Reply
Universal Problems Realized
Guess what, I found a backup on my computer.

This is starting after the Vorticon leaves the room.

Quote:
The Vorticon, unarmed runs out of the room, mysteriously.
"Thanks for saving us." says Neil. "I'm not sure what we could of done. Do you have an idea of what the Vorticon is doing?"
"No."


“This doesn’t look good…” says KeenEmpire.

“Forget the bad news we have got to get out of here!” says Shockshund who appeared as he spoke.

“Yeah, that’s right. Xtraverse please use that cool looking, very illegal weapon, to blow up the wall.” Says Forge.

“Ha, ha! With pleasure;” Responds Xtraverse, “just take cover everybody this is going to make a big mess.”.

Xtraverse aims his gun, everybody dashes for cover.

*VROOM-ZZZAAAP-POW*

The wall disintegrates.

“LETS GO!” yells Neil.

They run outside. On the way out Shockshund kicks Homnibus in the butt, and says “Your coming with us.”.

“But…” say Homnibus, Shockshund grabs him and drags him out with everybody.

“I don’t want to go!!!” yells Homnibus, in protest.

“Where to now?” asks Xtraverse.

“I don’t know.” says Neil.

“We have to get that Vorticon from the future; he’s the only one who seems to know what’s going on.” says KeenEmpire.

“Hey look there’s a Ship in front of the TV station!” says Shockshund.

The ship is a medium sized personal craft; that’s about the size of the Millennium Falcon.

They all look and see the Vorticon running up the gangplank of the ship. His shield is no longer active; it is only a temporary shield, only used for quick escapes, like the one he pulled.

“Quick after him!” yells Neil.

“I can’t believe this!” thinks KeenEmpire, “That Vorticon is part of a plot to destroy humanity in light of his own race. If we don’t catch him… It could be the end of human life as we know it!”

Neil reaches the ship just as the gangplank begins to raise. He jumps up onto it. The ship wavers a little bit, then raises 15 feet in the air. The gangplank finishes sealing the entrance.

Neil sets his Ray-Gun to stun. He walks slowly to the cockpit. The Vorticon is pressing various different buttons, as the ship ascends. Neil presses his gun against the Vorticons head and says “Your going to land this ship…..and your going to do it right now.” The Vorticon freezes and responds “Okay.”.

The ship lands.

“Get up; nice and slow.” Says Neil, he then leads the Vorticon out of the ship.

“Good Work!” Xtraverse congratulated Neil.

---------------
Now back to Keen and Ilsoap

“Keen look at the Space Time Continuum readings; the readings don’t make any sense.” said Ilsoap.

Keen looks at the readings, and sees that the Flux Field of Time has slowed. Keen gets a grin on his face then says “Someone has time traveled. The flux field of Time would only slow if something from one time is in another time. This must all have been perpetrated by someone from the future.” Says Keen.

“The future! What can that-” Ilsoap was cut of short.

Because at that very moment the radio crackled. “Keen, we have caught a Vorticon from the future;” came Forge’s voice, “they have come to kill you and destroy the rest of humanity.

“WHAT I SAVED THEM!” yells Keen!

“I know--‘Your selfish Keen; you only saved Earth, you left the rest of the universe to be destroyed in the War of the Universes. WE’RE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THAT!’—UG! Shut him up Neil! Sorry, he’s an annoying Vorticon.” responds Forge.

“I see… What time is he from?” asks Keen.

“80 years.” says Forge, “Keen the War of the Universes was a terrible war;” ads Forge, “mostly everything was destroyed, and 99.8% of all Vorticons were killed. They blame you for there loses.”

Keen responds “This explains a lot of things; there is a gravity well up here, it was going to suck out all of Earth’s atmosphere. Me and Ilsoap have fixed this for the time being, but it will go back to how it was before, if we don’t act quickly. Also I now know that this gravity well was caused by time travel. Having future elements in this time has caused the Space Time Continuum to become thin, it must have been the future Earth’s gravity that was causing the gravity well. We better act quick before the whole universe tares itself apart!”

YOW! The universe tare itself apart; really big stuff. What are they going to do next? Who knows.

As you have seen I have added a little plot like I said, and I explained the gravity well to give us more time. How will they kill the Smurfs or return the Vorticons to there own time isn’t known right now but I’m sure however it works out it will be good.

If you ad anything to this story, it has to fit and work well with the rest; I don’t want Keen to wake up from a bad dream in the next sentence. We are going to stick to reality here.

Currently there are six Keen fans in this story, and it is an awesome story! Rock on!

KeenEmpire
Grunt
Posts: 29
(6/26/01 5:49 am)
Reply
Next fw...
Then...the shock that ther only 6 ppl, shockstund shows his powers (i dunno what to do about that) the universe dies....and shockstund is the only one saved....i think we should restart after the 6 ppl.

Forge315
Vortininja
Posts: 163
(7/18/01 4:21 pm)
Reply
Re: Universal Problems Realized
“This Vorticon,” says Neil, “he should know something.”

“Mr. Vorticon,” says Keen, “I know how mad you must be at me, I don’t blame you for thinking that way; I would feel just the same I’m sure. Wars are dreadful, and they are worse when you have to fight them alone; your anger is well understood, but I think it’s time we review the facts. Now that I know about this “War of the Universes” we can prepare for it; if we go together on this and stop fighting maybe we can even prevent it. We are completely relying on you for your help; we need you, I beg of you to help us, because of you don’t the Vorticon race would be responsible for a grave mistake.”

The Vorticon, is perplexed by Keen’s remarks “We..are…already preparing for it,” say the Vorticon, “however you are a smart little guy, so we will accept your help.” He gets a smudge look on his face.

“Thank you!” says Keen, “So lets start. What do we do first?”

The Vorticon, looks at Neil, who then lest him go, “Well there’s not much that will change, with us being on the same side; I sent a message to all the races in the universes, I told them about the war;” he frowns, “they think killing you will help prevent the war.”

“So who is commanding that big ship up above?”

“It’s Martians; when their King was hit with that stupid probe I took him to Interdimensional Time; he was never killed. Once we were in that dimensional space, I showed him how to take substances throughout all of time and build a ship, the gravity wells are caused by massive displacement of mass (the form matter has there) and space substances (universal energy) throughout time. I didn’t know it would cause such trouble.”

Keen slumps back into his seat, with a heavy look “I don’t suppose he’s going to change his mind. Who would; we treated him with such disrespect.”

Ilsoap looks at Keen, he doesn’t look like he’s going to do anything. *This is not good I have to do something* thinks Ilsoap, “So that Martian King is the cause for all the warped Smurfs on earth?”

The Vorticon, answers “Yes, I’m afraid so.”

“Where did all those Smurfs come from?”

“Don’t look at me;” insists the Vorticon, “I didn’t bring them here, that was Homnibus fault.”

“WHAT!” yells Homnibus, “They threatened me with my life!!!!! And you, always on their side! Ha! It’s not my fault; I’m a victim.”

“What? Who’s there; what are you guys talking about?”

“Yeah,” says KeenEmpire, “we have neglected to tell you, Homnibus, is here. And at the wishes of the Martians he summoned Greedy and BigMouth here; they then genetically manipulated them to make a small Smurf that was always hungry and able to eat anything, and each one has 3 lives; it just regenerates after 20 minutes, and after every generation they automatically produce 10 more!” (don’t you just hate to have to explain every thing again)

“Okay this clears things up a bit, so are you with us Homnibus?” asks Ilsoap.

“No, but I guess I’m through helping the Vorticons.” Says Homnibus, “Can I Go now?”

To be continued.

Lagularity
Grunt
Posts: 3
(7/19/01 12:37 pm)
Reply
Re: Keen Community Story
lol you got even cooler theory there!

Can't think of anyting to post, and have to go to dinna anyway, keep it up!!!

"To be continued..." Cant wait.

--KeenEmpire

KeenEmpire
Vortininja
Posts: 38
(7/21/01 11:19 am)
Reply
Plz
Help! Don't do anything!

Well Nevermind about that. I'm temporary abandonging my magic story to write something that connects the KCS to the War of the Universes, from another universe's point of view. Plz leave the matter open when it comes, thats all, and then we'll write an even better sequal!

--KeenEmpire

Forge315
Vortininja
Posts: 173
(7/21/01 7:06 pm)
Reply
Re: Plz
Quote:
lol you got even cooler theory there!
Are you KeenEmpire?
I suppose is doesn’t matter, but us Keen fans do have a rising story here; so thanks!

Quote:
Well Nevermind about that. I'm temporary abandonging my magic story to write something that connects the KCS to the War of the Universes, from another universe's point of view. Plz leave the matter open when it comes, thats all, and then we'll write an even better sequal!

Forge solutes KeenEmpire and says "Will do."

The idea of a sequel never really came to mind; but with you at it’s head I’m sure it would be good. And you don’t have to worry about it ever coming in clear light in this story; it was never intended to.

Quote:
Help! Don't do anything!
If today’s not Monday, then don’t worry; Monday is the only day of the week I have time to write another post.

KeenEmpire
Vortininja
Posts: 40
(7/22/01 6:03 am)
Reply
Tnx
Hmm, its summer so i assume you've got a busy schedule :eek :

Lagularity is my name for HellDogs Message board...hehe

To tell ya the truth though, I can't think of anything to write on this KCS. I guess I'll keep working on my other story and leave that to the community...hmmm whered Ilsoap go?

Forge315
Vortininja
Posts: 180
(7/23/01 4:12 pm)
Reply
New Plot to Chew
*O boy; am I just supposed to let that little twerp go…. * thinks Ilsoap, “Can he be trusted-ed-ed; what’s your name Vorticon?”

“SIMONE GREEN HEAD; WHAT DO YOU THINK?” yells the Vorticon, *I can’t believe he asked me that; those horrible memories, O I’M A CLONED VORTICON; the life that other Vorticons lived I have not! GREEN HEAD, GREEN HEAD, GREEN HEAD! Why did my fellow Vorticons make fun of me? I was not underdeveloped like those other clones; I DID NOT HAVE A GREEN HEAD! ‘But how’s he supposed to know that?’ AHHHH, why should I care I don’t even have a real name; my race has be trade me, I will have my vengeance; on that day I will have my vengeance! They think they know me and why I have come; but they do not…. He, he, he, lol!*

In no form is this Vorticon green in the head; that was just a joke other Vorticons would call Clone’s; if a Clone were underdeveloped it would often have a green head, so it became a common joke.

“Ummm, okay mister Green Head…. Can we trust Homnibus?” *I hope this Vorticon isn’t going bananas on me. I don’t hear anything; this may just be a waist of time. Curses; why won’t he say anything--he’s giving me the willies-*

“He can be trusted; but we should tie him up just to make sure he doesn’t do anything.”

Homnibus flinched at the idea, *Ohhhh; that RAT! I will get him for that; “TIE ME UP,” not a chance. I will make my escape now…. This fool of guard isn’t even watching me. My enchantery isn’t that good anymore; but I should be able to handle this one.* Homnibus, waves his hand’s in front of Shockshund; who instantly fell under a deep spell, and collapsed. *It worked! And to think I was doubting myself..* Everybody looked at Homnibus; and Neil, dived for him, but he dodged and quickly ran to a drainage ditch; climbing down before anybody could get to him.

“Darn.” Says Neil.

Xtraverse, helps Neil get up; “That little rascal, but can’t say as I blame him though.”

KeenEmpire, leans over Shockshund; “Looks like he’s in a trace or something.” *I hope we can wake him up; I don’t want to carry around a dead beat.*

The radio crackles as Ilsoap, inquires to what’s going on; “Hey, everything okay down there?”

The Vorticon Clone, picks up the radio, and presses the microphone button, “The enchanter Homnibus, has made a daring escape, down a drainage ditch; pore guy will smell like a Vorticon Toad, if he ever comes out.” *He, he, now I don’t have to worry about him screwing everything up.*

To be continued

Quote:
Hmm, its summer so i assume you've got a busy schedule
Some people still have school; I am enroll in a two year college, even in the summer.

Lagularity
Grunt
Posts: 5
(7/26/01 12:16 pm)
Reply
Re: New Plot to Chew
Dam again, I want to write some stuff in theree, but I don't want to ruin the plot ur starting cause I got no idea where its supossed to be going...next monday then :(

Forge315
Vortininja
Posts: 193
(7/27/01 12:13 am)
Reply
Re: New P Chew
Quote:
cause I got no idea where its supossed to be going
I hear you man; it’s a real killer to keep the story on track. :\

Quote:
Dam again, I want to write some stuff in theree
If you understand what’s going on, and what needs to be taken into account in the story, and don’t forget things like all the people who are in the story and who’s where and doing what, and keep the time lines between the different parties flowing smoothly and can implement the current pplotttt tooooo make sense, then by all means post away. The story needs to go quicker.

I am not a maniacal control freak ( :eek ); who wants the story to go the way he plans. For instance, the Vorticon from the future was not supposed to be there (most of the plot), and the Smurfs (took up most of the story so far); I definitely didn’t want them in there, but every thing worked out fine.

It was a real killer to come up with a plot for the Smurfs but it was done. I had to get online and read all the information about this cartoon I had never seen, I found out what I needed to fill in the blanks and implemented them. It was to my luck that the show provided all the characters with the proper personalities to make it fit.

So my final word is "If you can make a decent post without leaving the plot behind to go on a miss adventure then your posts would be appreciated. If you do decide to post, please don’t think you have to keep the story on one strait track; have fun (if that’s at all possible with a story like this)" farewell.

Quote:
Re: New P Chew
LOL! That’s supposed to say "New Plo000t T0oo Chew" weird. :)

Whats with!? with plot? P-lot :O :eek >:

I can't say "Plo000t and T0oo" together. :b

Xtraverse 
Vortininja
Posts: 140
(7/28/01 1:03 am)
Reply
Story
--This was badly written, Forge can redo it if he wants to.

Edited by: Xtraverse  at: 8/8/01 5:00:44 pm
Page 1 2 3 4 << Prev Topic | Next Topic >>

Add Reply

Email This To a Friend Email This To a Friend
Topic Control Image Topic Commands
Subscribe Click to receive email notification of replies
Unsubscribe Click to stop receiving email notification of replies
jump to:

- Public Commander Keen Forum - Other Keen Stuff - Cerebral Cortex 314 -



Powered By ezboard® Ver. 7.241b
Copyright ©1999-2003 ezboard, Inc.