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Author
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Comment
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Xtraverse
Stranded Fish
Posts: 3532
(3/15/05 3:30 pm)
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theory thing...
mferde (TheOmegamatic as most of you know him) asked me to post this weird theory he came up with. I'm not sure what he was on when he came up with it, but make what you want of it  He also told me he was working on a levelpack today so we have that to look forward to.
A long, long time ago in planet Earth a young opportunist created the first starship capable of traveling to other sun systems. Using that ship he went to a far away planet where he found some interesting technology - a teleporter. But because the planet had insufficient life forms, he traded a single animal from earth for the teleporter technology. He traded the Lock Ness monster for it. That's why we can't find it anymore.
This opportunist was the man we know of as Christopher Columbus. He placed teleporters at the ends of the Earth to trick us into thinking the Earth was round.
Later on, he built four more teleporters and was just about to patent them when some martians came to Earth to steal candy and toys; however, they also stole these four teleports. They then integrated these four teleporters in certain places throughout Mars—two in the north, one in the east and one underground. The rest of the story is known to us all.
   
Edited by: Xtraverse at: 3/15/05 3:56 pm
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 XkyRauh2001
Mortimer's Righthand Man
Posts: 1496
(3/15/05 5:44 pm)
Reply
ezSupporter
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hahaha
*Dons his tinfoil hat* I understand now!
--Xky
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KeenRush 
Arachnut
Posts: 8869
(3/15/05 7:58 pm)
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Re: hahaha
Wheaaahh.. Mmmh, drugs..  They make the best ideas!
Anyways.
Awesome theory/plan. I really love it.  So cool! I hope he would write more about this. As well, the level pack sounds pretty good.
As well, do you know him personally xtra? 
You hear in your mind: GAAARRRRRGG! |
Xtraverse
Stranded Fish
Posts: 3533
(3/15/05 9:23 pm)
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Re: hahaha
Nope, I just talk to him on MSN a bit.
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Mr12000
Vortininja
Posts: 55
(3/16/05 8:46 pm)
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Re: hahaha
GENIUS! It was so obvious? How did I not see it before?
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lv4n
Vortininja
Posts: 139
(3/16/05 8:57 pm)
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Re: hahaha
Your friend read too much sci-fi.
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Vitamin Zach
Vortininja
Posts: 53
(3/16/05 9:59 pm)
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Re: hahaha
So did Mortimer use one of the teleporters to get to Mars?
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LevelLord00
Vorticon Elite
Posts: 2294
(3/17/05 10:07 am)
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Re: hahaha
Fool! Doesn't he know anything about Vorticon history?
Geez...
*From Lower Vortia, a History by Bluin Furrie, translated from Vorticon*
Chapter 15: Kriztofer Kolumbous
Born is 4476 [Vorticon years] Kristofer is famous for being the first traveler to the primitive system of Sol, where he spread Vorticon technology and wisdom to the two primitive inhabited planets.
His first trip, the Sol 4, known also as Mars, is still famous today. His ship landed on the local despot, a Zpott Teh Yorpp, thus freeing the local peaceful Garg population from the constant annoying nudges of the primitive and dominant Yorps.
As a gesture of peace, Kriztofer supplied the Martians with four teleporters so that they could travel around their glode and keep the peace. as well as several dozen enforcer robots to ensure this. He also altered their genetic structure so that the previously vegetarian Gargs have become the only species with 'square' teeth that eats meat.
His less famous but far more reverberative visit to Sol 3. After some investigation Kriztofer discovered that the locals were so genetically advanced that if certain individuals were given two names starting with the same letter, they would spontaneously develop incredible inteligence [IQ's in the range of 300-320]
As such it would be incredibly beneficial if these primitives developed star travel so they could co operate with the Vorticons. To this end he developed the fake character 'Christopher' [Dear lord, what a stupid name. Who on Vort would believe it?] who travelled around their world and 'discovered' an entire contenent. Kriztofer believed that this would inspire the primitives to venture into the unknown, and eventually into space. What they did was invade the new continent and kill off the natives.
Deheartened Kriztofer told his story to a sect of monks [with several appropriate alterations] and told them to spread the word that the world was flat and he a fraud. It is not know what happened to thes 'four teleporter' monks, but it is believed that some of them still remain on earth, wearing tinfioil hats, smoking narcotics and spreading their [abeit unkowing] lies among the populace. [As if anyone would believe them, anyone can see the sun and moon are round, so what would earth be? Square?]
Before departing to Vort, Kriztofer rescued a stranded V'leet [said by some to still inhabit the Vortisea.] who, apparently spent the whole voyage "complaing most heartily about the repeated missaying of her name by what I gathered were a group of odd skirt wearing primitives who repeatedly enounced 'och aye!'"
Apon his return Kriztofer was given a traditional heroes welcome; he was repeatedly stunned outside Ole Hals Tavern.
A proud member of the signature stealing society
"No one should be here.
" -Level Lord |
KeenRush
Arachnut
Posts: 8883
(3/17/05 3:02 pm)
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Re: hahaha
Woah! Your imagination is the most vivid.  So that is what really has happened..
You hear in your mind: GAAARRRRRGG! |
grafix5000 
Shadowlander
Posts: 1734
(3/17/05 4:52 pm)
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Re: hahaha
Quote:
Woah! Your imagination is the most vivid.
I think you mean acid trips KeenRush, not imagination. (Or possibly both. Imagination is a dangerous thing.)
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TheOmegamatic
Vortininja
Posts: 227
(3/18/05 6:42 pm)
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Re: theory thing...
To tell the truth, I was drunk. At least, I think so...
Drunk, not on drugs, mind you. Just overwhelmed with rum.
...you heard nothing. I never drink.
Mene sakkhet ur-seveh. |
Superadammario64 
Vorticon Elite
Posts: 324
(3/18/05 7:08 pm)
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Re: theory thing...
hmm interesting.
(hey my picture finally works! Sweet!)
The end is near. An evil force returns. And only Commander Keen can stop him, but this time he must team up with a super sonic hedgehog and a two tailed fox. Follow the adventure:Dimension Chaos
A Commander Keen and Sonic The Hedgehog Crossover Fan Fiction
Visit my website at www.geocities.com/superadammario
Edited by: Superadammario64 at: 3/18/05 7:08 pm
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KeenRush
Arachnut
Posts: 8896
(3/19/05 11:04 am)
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Re: theory thing...
 Maybe I should get drunk too. Hmmm..
You hear in your mind: GAAARRRRRGG! |
grafix5000
Shadowlander
Posts: 1740
(3/19/05 11:31 am)
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Re: theory thing...
*imagines KeenRush waking up with a hangover and a garg tattoo on his arm*
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KeenRush
Arachnut
Posts: 8899
(3/19/05 3:02 pm)
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Re: theory thing...
I was perfectly clear when I took that tattoo. And it's not on my arm. 
You hear in your mind: GAAARRRRRGG! |
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